Please excuse the grammatical errors, any other errors you come across, and the general sloppiness of this transcription of Much Abu About Nothing's podcast episode on Gnomeo & Juliet! Our episodes are transcribed by a robot.
Misha 00:00
content warning.
Tyler 00:01
Although this is a podcast about kids movies, this podcast isn't for kids and may contain content some people find offensive
Misha 00:37
Welcome to Much Abu About Nothing or should I say Welcome back from our paternity leave not mine, just Tyler's BPB we discussed and rate Disney animated films sometimes Disney, which we'll get it to go in alphabetical order following a rigorous and scientific scoring system based on absolutely nothing. I'm Misha
Tyler 01:08
and I'm Tyler. And this week we're talking about Gnomeo & Juliet from 2011 Not a Disney movie. We kind of beefed it a little
Misha 01:18
bit. Okay, whoever made the list that we stole from the internet beefed it. Yeah,
Tyler 01:25
we did just full peeking behind the curtain be slash DM screen. We tried to get rid of the ones that yeah, like the list we found of animated theatrical releases included things from like other countries that Disney just like, owns the company that released it. Like there was some movies from like Bollywood or maybe not maybe not Bollywood but India and like Japan that weren't like Studio Ghibli. They weren't even Disney but Disney owns or, or has some tend
Misha 01:53
to say Ghibli? Am I supposed to be saying Ghibli this whole time? No,
Tyler 01:57
don't follow me because I say GIF and it's supposed to be GIFs. So, so, okay,
Misha 02:02
it's the opposite. It's supposed to be GIF, but I say GIF.
Tyler 02:05
The dude who invented it on his deathbed was like, it's Jeff and then yeah, so yes,
Misha 02:13
vindicated. I then
Tyler 02:22
decided then to say
Misha 02:25
okay, I say GIF because, gee, I hate the English language. So much should be GIF like giraffe and the word gift as in a present should be gift. Just start saying Here's your gift. Yeah,
Tyler 02:41
it is. Yeah, English is especially I've learned this from teaching it for years. It's a stupid language. It's it's all stupidest language. It's to like it's like a sailor drowning in the ocean tried to grab flotsam and jetsam to stay alive like it's like it's shipped from everywhere like but yeah, sorry back to so Gnomeo Juliet was released by So when should
Misha 03:05
you Gnomeo and Juliet
Tyler 03:08
Romeo Janome and Juliet was released by rocket pictures in some other country company like Paramount or something and Disney like oh Touchstone yet so Touchstone Disney ons touchdown and so we got Anyway folks we fucked up and because we fucked up we'll have to do the sequel Sherlock gnomes later when we have to we have to be like never do we have to we're already in the universe. We're already in the world we have to continue
Misha 03:37
by hate this world. I hate Oh boys world we
Tyler 03:41
are gonna get we'll get
Misha 03:43
into it. I hate this no more. I
Tyler 03:46
really fucking hate it. But before we get into it,
Misha 03:48
I wanted to just okay, why isn't there a third one called Bio GNOME or
Tyler 03:53
no homeland security.
Misha 03:56
Oh, that's good.
Tyler 03:57
I started I stole that from somewhere.
Misha 04:00
Okay, I just made mine up.
Tyler 04:02
Well, yours is good.
Misha 04:04
Yours is pretty good. Better. Yeah. Before we get into I think New Homeland
Tyler 04:09
Security's and oh my goodness, I forgot I forgot where I got. It's a d&d thing. I got it from some d&d thing. I don't remember where but Okay. Before we get into
Misha 04:18
the forums, you're in talking about
Tyler 04:22
it show me some notes some gnome good nudes
Tyler 04:32
it's just cement. It's just just like just bare unpainted cement. Yeah,
Misha 04:36
yeah.
Tyler 04:37
I like an upskirt shot of just bare cement. It's Yeah. Boy, this world. But before we get into it, I just wanted to quickly say apologies, everyone for you know, for the break. I mean, obviously I'm not sorry for having to
Misha 04:53
apologize. Yeah,
Tyler 04:54
like, I mean, we just
Misha 04:56
thank you for your patience. Thank you for your patience a much needed break. Yeah, because baby's gonna come first Life
Tyler 05:02
finds a way. And we were going to another just peek behind the DM screen. We were going to have a couple episodes up and ready to go. So we didn't have to take a publishing break. I was hoping. But um, and we can cut this out if you want me but like, but yeah, life gets in the way. So, thanks for your patience and we appreciate your patronage.
Misha 05:25
I would I want to cut this out. Well, cuz you sound like you're about to fuck you, Tyler.
Tyler 05:29
You're about to say something? Yeah, sorry. Were you gonna say something that cut you off?
Misha 05:37
I was just gonna say you should say peek behind the curtain Nomo.
Tyler 05:44
Nice. Yes, let's part the kid Nomo and get into this movie. Let's deep dive into the cement atrocity. So Oh, boy. What do we even fucking do here? It's been a while. We write these movies on various categories. It's been a few weeks. I'm going to try to do this without looking. It's probably not going to go well, but we write these on different categories giving scores from one to 10 We've got fuck. I got originality, originality, story. Music and Sound animation. Oh
Misha 06:21
hmm. swappa Well, it
Tyler 06:24
isn't. Okay. Original originality story. Animation music and sound protagonist sidekick villain henchmen strong female lead bipoc representation slash portrayal and fun factor. And then we have minus points if something doesn't sit right or bonus points for that effervescence that special rocket pictures magic. Giving it a total score of 110
Misha 06:51
So what is this fucking way to go movie about Thank you. So this is this is about the classic blood and Crips rivalry but
Tyler 07:07
with gnomes. Yes. Or Democrats versus Republicans? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I
Misha 07:13
mean, you know. Oh, God, I wish it wasn't an election year. Yes. Hey, you No, gang, in case you haven't figured it out by the name of this movie. This is a remake a gnome remake of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. And there are we're in this world where all garden statues and garden adjacent statues like weathervanes are alive like Toy Story. Yeah, and like, but people don't know it, even though they're the ones who keep up all the gardens for humans
Tyler 08:09
and somehow have there's so many fucking gnomes like so many who buys Yeah, anyway.
Misha 08:16
So yeah, it takes place in this one property with semi detached homes
Tyler 08:24
to neighbors. I was trying to remember what those I was like. Yeah, Plex what are those called? Yeah.
Misha 08:30
So these neighbors hate each other. And there's this old man who is read everything the house trim is read all the gnomes are read all the garden accoutrement are read and then the other side of the property is a Blue Lady. And everything is blue. Abu de Abu de and
Tyler 08:58
name the band quick names band is a band that I know it's bad that I know right?
Misha 09:04
No, it's not bad. I'll get there. I'm crap no, just tell me what it is.
Tyler 09:10
I full 65
Misha 09:11
Okay, yeah, that's not that you know I did or whatever that doesn't even doesn't ring a bell.
Tyler 09:19
Sorry everybody. see myself out.
Misha 09:25
That's a fun song. You know? Your brother was
Tyler 09:31
speaking of which actually like the audience can see it but your room is very blue. Have a deep dive. It's very, very
Misha 09:37
black chair is my chair is blue. And the next step me our blue
Tyler 09:44
filing cabinet behind you is blue. That's
Misha 09:46
gray and that's not a filing cabinet sweatshirt. So blue. Okay, timeout. Calm down everybody. That is not a filing cabinet. It's a card catalog and your pictures so blue. And okay, that card kinda like is gray, maybe with a blue tinge, but it's great. It's
Tyler 10:03
got a little, at least in the video,
Misha 10:05
that picture it's seafoam green, seafoam green, I got a supersaturated seafoam green. Okay, so it's in the green category. These tubs and your crate tops are blue. These tops, the tops are blue. But like we did choose blue over another color I probably would have, like
Tyler 10:25
Nobody chooses the chair. You're born.
Misha 10:29
I was born into a blue life this chair.
Tyler 10:32
Do you think that? Do you think those gnomes chose the red life? Now?
Misha 10:36
We're gonna get into how these fucking things came about. I don't understand where
Tyler 10:40
were we your CI what were what were you gonna say about the chair? Now?
Misha 10:43
You want me to keep naming the blue
Tyler 10:48
set of patches. Oh, a gift.
Misha 10:52
Oh, yes. Oh fuck or anything like that. This was a gift from Steve. And it's a very nice chair. It is very comfortable. We're where we, lady at the very beginning,
Tyler 11:08
lady. Lady Montague is blue and Mr. Capulet is read. I think they okay. I think they have a question for you to play. Yeah.
Misha 11:17
So the guy lives in to be Yep. What is her address? Well, in the movie? Yeah. Her address has to be
Tyler 11:30
crossed out. Right? To be and his is not to be Yep. Okay, so
Misha 11:35
the reverse, right. So not to be exact. So what is their fucking address?
Tyler 11:40
It's a har har Shakespeare joke.
Misha 11:43
I hate it. Yeah. Wait, it's his address. That's the one that's not
Tyler 11:49
to be I think it's the way I think it's how does he get mail? I don't know. It's it's a it's too much wrote a joke. It's a throwaway joke that they thought was great. But it makes a lot
Misha 12:01
that they thought would be funny. And isn't. Yeah. All right. So these dang dogs live next to each other and hate each other. Yep. And because of their hate trade for each other, all their gnomes and garden trinkets hate each other. Yeah. And they're always battling each other. They're always tit for tat thing one another. And Gnomeo is out and about. I forget why. Who cares? trek Juliet? Hmm. He was at night. Oh, they're also super into lawn mowers. I don't know what that's about.
Tyler 12:45
It's absurd. I don't understand the lawn more fetish. But he that he was sneaking in. So there was a lawn mower. race race Tybalt street. A drag drive. Right. Tybalt wins because he cheats Tybalt is Red Hat Gnomeo goes into the table is Jason stadium stadium. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, lifetime. I
Misha 13:06
never know how to say his name. Stadium stadium. I
Tyler 13:10
don't know. I could be saying it wrong. Like Jeff. I said give them that's definitely Rossi GIF or GIF. GIF. I've got a gift for you a GIF. Fuck now it's there was a race to the table cheats. So Gnomeo and his best buddy Benny sneak into the red zone. The mushroom? No, that guy. The little guy with the big hat is Benny. The mushroom mushroom. Is his name. Shermie. Anyway, they sneak in and then remember, they get caught spray painting. So then he escapes. And that's when he sees Juliet and
Misha 13:43
oh, so he's escaping. Okay, so he's escaping from pranking or refeeding or whatever you would call it. The red. The Blue Zone? Yes. The red zone. The red zone. Yeah. And while he's leaving, he runs into Juliet who's trying to steal this Orkin, cupid's arrow or kid. Oh my god for the blue garden for
Tyler 14:16
the red gopher to her dad. She's more than just a pretty face basically.
Misha 14:21
Right? And so anyway, they meet they fall in love. The rivalry keeps escalating way too quickly. For how they fall in love way too quickly. There's a whole scene. It's fine. Yeah, whatever. Fine. No. Do you just want to allow pitches want to burn? They just want to they just want to bump stone. It's disgusting because that is what it is. And they fall in love. You know it's forbidden. They get caught by a flamingo. The Flamingo has a love story that ends terribly because they're human. Go garden owners hated each other so they got split apart. So the Pink Flamingo is like yes, stay in love. Keep loving. I'll keep your secret. And then
Tyler 15:12
Benny finds out when he sees them,
Misha 15:15
Benny that right Benny the little one. No meos friend sees them runs off Gnomeo chases after him trying to stop him from spilling the beans. And Tybalt shows up because he's, he's angry because he's toxic masculinity can't keep his shit together. It's like such a jerk. Everybody hates him anyway.
Tyler 15:39
And everybody even his community.
Misha 15:44
Yeah, his little his little red guys are like everybody hates him. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Tybalt shows up and is like, oh, for this last thing that y'all did. I'm gonna chop your head off. But it's like a permanent disfigurement because they're stone or cement. And he chops Benny's hat off. And then Gnomeo sees this and he's like I'm gonna get you and he jumps onto the lawnmower that tables driving and they tussle and then a table is like about to as a lawn mower is going Tibbles trying to like I don't know kill Gnomeo I'm not really sure like, basically yeah, like Yeah, doing the face to the ground. What like to the moving ground? Yeah, like
Tyler 16:34
Rihanna Jones and the Last Crusade the Nazis like pushing Indy against the
Misha 16:38
anyway. And then, oh, there but the lawnmower is approaching a wall. And Gnomeo jumps off and rolls and he's fine. And Jason Statham hits something goes flying off the lawnmower and crashes into the brick wall into a million pieces. Cleared dad said Oh, my God, this movie was too much was happening. This is not even close to where I have to be. Which is the end.
Tyler 17:14
I mean, yeah, this, this should be close to the end. But there was like another 25 minutes after Yeah. Then
Misha 17:19
Gnomeo runs away because everyone's trying now all the blues are trying to get him reds. He's blues. Okay. Okay, all the Reds are trying to get him. Because obviously we all know that. Gnomeo is the blue one. And so the other reds are chasing after him. He runs away. He gets thrown out into traffic as he's running away. Kind of Yeah. And a truck comes and they hear a smashing sound and they're like, oh, no, no, Mia was dead. There's a pale blue over there. He's dead. Oh, we're also sad. And then while they're grieving. Michael Caine and
Tyler 18:17
complete Lord redbrick, the leader of the red zone.
Misha 18:21
Okay. And Lady blueberry. The dad of Juliet Juliet. Blueberry who's Maggie Smith right to Goofy magazine.
Tyler 18:34
Give her the respect she deserves she is a decadent we should also probably say
Misha 18:38
nadji Smith.
Tyler 18:41
Imagine in my car cane or my car.
Misha 18:47
They say Oh, we're so sad. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. No more fighting ever again. Oh,
Tyler 18:51
okay. You're jumping ahead a little bit. That's okay. Doesn't
Misha 18:55
ring a bell? And then turns out that pile of broken blue stuff was just a tea pot that fell off the back of the truck. It was a tea pot truck change. You know how you just carry loose tea pot in the back of a drag? Hey, just follow up.
Tyler 19:13
And you know what, because it's super clever. The name of the moving company Tempus teapots, so
Misha 19:18
that was stupid. And then nobody will makes his way
Tyler 19:24
back after meeting the statue of William Shakespeare. Yeah. That was the worst part. Yep. Okay. I mean, in a movie of many bad parts that was pretty up there for sure. Are down there. Yeah, it's pretty low.
Misha 19:41
All right. So he meets a statue who's alive of William Shakespeare played by Patrick Stewart,
Tyler 19:48
Sir Patrick Stewart. Yeah. Picard.
Misha 19:50
I was gonna say that was like, I gotta leave that for you. And then who says who
Tyler 19:55
says this is doomed? Your love story is interesting, but it's doomed at have, you know, you're both going to die? Yep. The story is better if everyone dies in the end and no meals like no, I'm going to change the script.
Misha 20:08
And then Gnomeo makes his way back home, making my way back home. And then he goes to find Juliet. I don't even know honestly, I don't understand what was going on. I
Tyler 20:20
fill in, fill in a little detail. I
Misha 20:22
figured it out. No, I got it. Okay, so while all of this stuff is going on, all their weird fetish for lawnmower stuff is happening. Okay. This is, this is important for some stupid reason. So one of the colors, buys a lawnmower using the blue, the blue. Yep, the blue. Yes, the blue one of the blues, buys a lawnmower using the human blues. Laptop. Yep, and buys this thing called the lawn mower determinator Tara
Tyler 20:58
Furminator
Misha 21:02
that voiced by Cogan, Hulk Hogan
Misha 21:09
claims on this and it has flames all over it. And it's like big and can do everything I do. Like how in the commercial there like more power than anybody actually need. Yeah,
Tyler 21:22
the disclaimer is quite funny. I tried to pause and I
Misha 21:26
did quite funny. Yeah, dry mouth was one of the sides of
Tyler 21:30
nausea, losing friends and stuff like that, like warning.
Misha 21:37
So they buy this Furminator to mow the lawn. And it's like, then one of them's driving it. It's out of control and starts to like, it breaks me the fence. And it's like going towards the Reds causing and like causing total destruction in both lawns. Yeah. But Juliet's dad was like, I told you to not go anywhere. You're supposed to stay in your spot. So he glues her to her castle where she believes to be just like, Oh, I'm a pretty princess like, and he doesn't because her mom's another dead mom. By the way. I don't know what that means
Tyler 22:17
in this world. Yeah, yeah. We'll get into that because it doesn't make any sense. Yeah, right.
Misha 22:21
And so her mom is dead. He's like, already lost her mom, I can't lose you. So he glues her to this castle, but doesn't know there's Terminator Furminator is coming to bust up the town. And. And she's stuck. So then comes Gnomeo
Tyler 22:46
she's stuck by she's stuck by the name of the the glue company Taming of the glue. That's
Misha 22:52
pretty good. Actually. It's,
Tyler 22:54
it's awful. I hate it.
Misha 22:59
And then, and then Gnomeo comes in. He's like, quick, the Furminator is coming. I gotta get you out of here. And she's like, I can't. I'm stuck. And she's like, You go and he's like, no, no, I'm gonna stay with you because I love you. I love you. Oh my god. We're both nubs and then and then Dilawar comes busts everything up and they're like, oh, no, both our children are dead. Oh, no, me oh
Misha 23:35
and then he's never fighting again. Oh my god. Everything's ruined. Both our children are dead because of our fighting. It's my fault. No, it's my fault. No, it's my fault. And then through the rubble, turns out, they're not dead. They're just covered in rubble. Happily Ever After happily
Tyler 23:59
ever after. And before they kiss in the story ends No, Elmo says, topia says I told you this story.
Misha 24:08
This ending is better and is better,
Tyler 24:11
right Juliet doesn't go What the fuck you talking? Like she wasn't privy to that
Misha 24:15
was like reading and it's just fuck
Tyler 24:19
you for saying that because
Misha 24:23
Excuse me? You're so whatever whoever wrote this is saying this Gnomeo and Juliet is better than the original. Romeo and Juliet. Yeah,
Tyler 24:34
you know all those high schools that forced the students to watch this movie instead of read Romeo Juliet because it's a classic. To be fair, I don't really like that play. But anyway, it's a classic but no, what I was gonna say is he says that to No, no Bo says that to Juliet. Like I told you, this ending is better. And like Who's he talking to? Juliet wasn't part of that conversation. So she just kisses him. If I were her, I'd be like What the fuck you talking about? What endings? Is this? The Truman Show? What ending are you talking about? Anyway?
Misha 25:04
Right? Is this the end? Are you gonna murder me now?
Tyler 25:08
What is what is going on? But then it's not the end, then they have to do that dance number and Tybalt comes back and his dancing so well, that's the end credit so, okay, but I want to know Tybalt has put back together does that mean it's possible to reanimate bodies in this universe?
Misha 25:23
So that's what well, so that's what I want to talk about. Like,
Tyler 25:28
what how are there dead? He was smashed he was smashed to pieces. He was smashed and dead in the world.
Misha 25:35
How would an unknown die? Yeah,
Tyler 25:39
like what's the spark? Oh,
Misha 25:41
but that's a big assumption. We do not know that her mother was unknown. Oh, okay.
Tyler 25:50
I both like and I'm horrified by the implication of what you're talking about. So are we talking about okay, what
Misha 25:57
all right what if gnomes have to have because we've only ever seen one parent Yep. No parent per gnome. What if the other parent to become an animated not in this sense of this movie but in their world to become alive? Someone's got jizz all over them.
Tyler 26:23
Do you think that's the answer? Someone has to choose
Tyler 26:31
or ill or is it possible if like the Mrs. Montague, can she put one up our Cooter? Does that also worker
Misha 26:40
is like squat. Yeah, in the same way up or out?
Tyler 26:45
All right, this is awful. That's the
Misha 26:53
one I wrote how our families formed in this gnome world. Like there was a baby gnome at the end and I was like, wait a second in the credits. Somebody was holding a baby gnome and I was like, does that baby no with a beard grow up to a larger size gnome? Does? How would How would a gnome be designated as the parent of another gnome? Okay, then when we get to the end credits, or like before the end they purchase a flamingo to be the new mail order bride of the flamingo.
Tyler 27:34
That's a bit weird because it said used Flamingo. So the I feel like the implication was it's the same. It's the long lost love but how the fuck did they find her but anyway?
Misha 27:44
I did not get that. So what happens if lady Montague is just like, I want a bunch of mangoes? Okay, new brand new flamingos made in a factory How did they become alive? Are they already live alive? Like
Tyler 28:01
they will get to this with this movies. But this movie is very Toy Story like how we store those toys animated it's magic and it's not explained. But when you dig this is cars all over again. If you dig beneath the surface, it's a horrifying, horrifying world.
Misha 28:17
i As soon as they introduce like, family and kinship and like some kind of brought familial relationships. That's what I'm like, wait a second. Like and Toy Story doesn't have that. That's just true ways that are alive that like come to life and I so like with this one, it's just sort of like there's other things like cars introduced that where it's like, they smooch and have a baby. Yeah. How is that baby? You know, like so.
Tyler 28:54
Okay, so this might be a bad this might be a like a fake memory or whatever. But aren't there like garden gnomes that are like naughty or versions would like butts and wieners
Misha 29:09
Oh my god.
Tyler 29:11
Like fencers looking at something they sell like a wiener wiener wielding gnome with like a big phallus. That might be something I saw in Amsterdam or something.
Misha 29:24
Okay, um, okay. Yeah. Okay, there's one word, a gnome is giving a middle finger. Here's one where one gnome is out. There's one more butcher out. This was like this was either jerking it in the corner or so that's
Tyler 29:46
the thing that I thought was thinking they have those like Calvin bumper sticker.
Misha 29:50
Oh, yeah, there's one where the like all there okay, just so it's
Tyler 29:55
possible that under the the clothes, paint there Are wieners in ingyenes
Misha 30:02
but I think they can't change that. And it's like if Oh my god, close this tab. I just found one of a no giving another Noma BJ I got close that okay, this is
Tyler 30:17
blump job nice
Misha 30:22
oh my god I was sitting on a toilet too.
Tyler 30:25
There's a toilet this too why does that lady have a toilet decorating her bed?
Misha 30:30
I don't understand the toilet thing. Okay, let's let's go to the categories because we need to
Tyler 30:39
Yeah, we need to move on. I've got like, I've got babies to take care of. So we've got to move on. I think I could talk about gnome cheers all day but actually really quick. Okay, you
Misha 30:51
heard it here. We're talking about gnome just all day. I never mentioned no Jas I said humans jizz on inanimate gnomes to make them come alive and then they get a baby but
Tyler 31:03
the All Spark question teacher we're gonna get to this eventually but this movie was executive produced by Elton John Yes, I know. We can we can get into get into that but he's got like he's got like a you know in cars there. God was the manufacturer. Yeah, Elton John is sort of the god of this world. What I do Elton John has been jizzing on everybody and turning them into real No,
Misha 31:32
I don't think I don't think he is because you wouldn't be singing a love song and turn into God. So Stephen Merchant was singing to the frog. And that's true. Yeah, in that like music montage turned into Elton John with like she The good point. I don't think that's what his relationship is. I think he is Elton John as Elton John
Tyler 31:59
and the gnomes just know about him and love him in the known world. So also, that's another thing can net the frog. make babies with Paris? Played by Stephen Merchant? The Gnome? Can they is there interbreeding in this world?
Misha 32:14
Can they make baby babies?
Tyler 32:16
Can they make babies?
Misha 32:17
No, because she's not a real frog. Oh, she's made of plaster or plastic or cement.
Tyler 32:23
But the gnomes are real gnomes?
Misha 32:26
No, they're not.
32:27
So but but. But they can make
Misha 32:29
Jamie's without a biological thing. jizzing on it or? This is the worst? You asked. I think they can just like bump on each other. But that's
32:46
something still no, she
Misha 32:47
has got that tube in her mouth.
Tyler 32:49
She does. Okay, we gotta move on. Alright, let's get into the categories originality, big one. They do this thing at the beginning where they have they have the stage and this film comes out and says like, this is a story that's been told a lot. But this one's different. It's still
Misha 33:04
not. It's a one. That's basically was like, Oh, here's a story that you've heard a million times. Misha, Tyler give it a one. Okay. The movie starting it? Yeah, it's
Tyler 33:17
not enough to give it a two but it does. You know it. It does have a different ending, which is like a lame Hollywood happy. They
Misha 33:26
referenced that. It's like they should have not been so referential to Romeo and Juliet. And I think it could have just been like, oh, it's like a cutesy name and then like with gnomes and then changed it without mentioning that they're changing it don't have all of the Shakespeare stuff everywhere like that for kids don't get it. And you don't we adults,
Tyler 33:53
in addition, don't have so many like references to other pop colleagues have so many like sort of pop culture references that. I mean, it was there for like parent parent fan service. I guess there was like, matrix American Beauty which was really weird. Braveheart there were all these like Brokeback Mountain there are all these like, pop culture references that were just who didn't
Misha 34:18
movies. I don't remember a single one.
Tyler 34:22
So do you remember when then at the frog is listening to Paris sing and she sees him as Elton John. Uh huh. And then cuts to Nannette covered in rose petals in Yes,
Misha 34:32
that's. That was okay. I just wrote this is disgusting. There's
Tyler 34:38
another discussing the cover her. She's
Misha 34:41
okay. She's a frog. frogs don't have boobs because they're not mammals. They put rose petals where her boobs would go. Yep. Like, okay, now I want to look up what frog sex organs are because is like, what are they covering?
Tyler 35:04
They're covering the old vagina, the old space. The old space under the old dewlap. I don't know. I mean, there are a lot of like things like there's also like Tybalt to know me. We're fighting and it goes slow motion. Yeah, matrix. It's a matrix reference like every other right
Misha 35:19
now. Everybody does it. So I forget that it's specific to the matrix. The
Tyler 35:23
in the final battle, the bunnies have like blue war paint, which is clearly a Braveheart thing. Like yeah, that is a brief there are two gnomes that are stuck together. And one of them says, I wish I could quit you, which is a Brokeback Mountain or Brokeback Mountain reference. Anyway, like, there's just a bunch of like,
Misha 35:38
I mean, like, just,
Tyler 35:40
I don't know, it just bothered me. I mean, it's there to like, yeah, that's like a little like, aside for the parents to chuckle at, I guess, but I'm a parent. I didn't chuckle So
Misha 35:50
eat it. It's yeah, it's um, no. I'm a parent to some cat. Some cats. And I didn't laugh. I was like, when's this gonna end? All right. Next, there was also
Tyler 36:05
Saving Private Ryan reference, like Gnomeo goes under the water and there's like the zoo. Like tomatoes. That's what that because tomatoes by the way. Anyway, it's I the reason I'm bringing that up is I think it's making it even more on original by like, just Yeah, falling back on falling back on like, sort of Tropi pop culture, iconic moments and other movies and like redoing them, I guess that could be done in an interesting way in a sort of, pastiche, and interesting pastiche. But in this one, not so much.
Misha 36:37
It's less of pastiche and more just like we are boring and unoriginal and lazy. Yeah.
Tyler 36:45
Yeah. Someone I forget where I read it. But someone said this movies like Shrek mixed with Toy Story, and I feel like that's pretty. Pretty spot on. But less original than both of those. Right? Yeah, one story.
Misha 37:01
One, I It's like, I'm not even good. Like, even if you were to get it if it were original. Yeah.
Tyler 37:11
There's like all this as more and more stuff that isn't. I mean, is that interesting to some people like watching gnomes grease around on lawnmowers. And I don't think so. i This story is I mean, okay. I do
Misha 37:23
like the Fast and Furious Jason Statham connection is good. But that's just me personally as a big fan.
Tyler 37:30
Do we give this points for the Romeo and Juliet? Story part of it? Like I can't remember which movie we did this book. We hated the movie, but we still gave it points for like a Christmas carol. Yeah, exactly. That's like Christmas. Carol was also Christian. We Carol, but we gave it points for the story behind Christmas. Carol. Do we do that for Juliet? I mean, Roman Joel is obviously not Shakespeare's best, but it's still Romeo and Juliet. Still like?
Misha 38:02
Like it's still kind of good. Yeah. Okay. I guess so. But
Tyler 38:09
it is, but it is at its heart about teens being very teenagers, which is not your favorite?
Misha 38:13
No, no, that's not I. Yeah, um,
Tyler 38:23
I'm not gonna deny that. Yeah, because there's like hours of records. Published record. No,
Misha 38:29
that's not why because I've it's, it's true. I can't even lie that I like teens because it makes me sick to my stomach.
Tyler 38:40
I'm here for you. I'm in your corner. Don't
Misha 38:42
worry about it. How many teens listen to this podcast? If you're a teenager and you're listening send us an email. Yeah, please do to much Abu about [email protected] So we can you know, shit. I'm just
Tyler 38:55
kidding. So Misha cat and I can say hey, thank you for the email. Good Cop Bad calm but yeah, do we give it points for like, the Okay, so the the bones of the story are still the play like, Boy meets girl. They fall in love. Their parents are awful. Their families are awful.
Misha 39:13
And this story is not good when you're like okay, there gnomes in a garden. The owners of the garden who are humans hate each other. They have this weird color rivalry that is just based on colors. So and that's it. Yeah. They just you know, have a World Wind romance that is mediocre very.
Tyler 39:42
Yeah, it's not um, I don't know. It's it's young love. It's a love at first sight or whatever and it's not.
Misha 39:47
I think the problem is, is that with humans, you can believe that there's sort of this quick romance because of like a like physical attraction and sexual chemistry. You can't get that from gnomes. So you're just it's just weird and creepy. They all look like really weird
Tyler 40:11
and yeah and it's and the rest of the story is like basically garbage it's like added shit that isn't isn't
Misha 40:20
great there's like not the lawnmower stuff the frog the orchid was confusing because I thought that would sort of like be part of it more Flamingo
Tyler 40:32
the whole Yeah,
Misha 40:34
the flamingo backstory that we didn't need the flashback to. Yeah, yeah, it was like mostly filler. He's
Tyler 40:40
like a filler plot device. Like here's why love conquers all. I wonder if he's supposed to be like to stand in for the the there's like a fryer or some. There's some like, purse. I forget who it is in a
Misha 40:53
play. Right? Yeah, I forget who it is to, but I guess. Oh, well.
Tyler 40:59
I don't remember the play well enough to. And they probably didn't follow it too closely.
Misha 41:04
But yeah, I mean,
Tyler 41:08
I Okay, I guess I'm dancing around. Which are we really giving this a one or not? I'm totally fine with giving it a one.
Misha 41:15
I guess not. I
Tyler 41:16
feel like I feel like it should be fine with giving it a one. But I also feel like part of me feels like maybe we should give it a little bit for
Misha 41:25
the little bit of
Tyler 41:28
I mean, you made a compelling argument that it's not good.
Misha 41:30
I mean, maybe a two.
Tyler 41:32
I think a two is is fine. I don't want to go more than that. But I feel like I feel like we should give it a little bit of points for like, Okay, this is a at its heart. A compelling tale is oldest time story that we keep telling a lot because it's like, timeless like love
Misha 41:52
love as is a powerful and conquers love does not conquer all. And okay, in this one. It didn't. It was grief. They weren't like Oh, you two love each other. Okay, we'll stop fighting. It was oh, they're both dead because we're assholes.
Tyler 42:12
That's the same. Yeah, that's the play. It's the same grief conquers all right? And,
Misha 42:16
but this is like, yeah. I don't know. It was like, because they changed it. It made less sense. Yeah,
Tyler 42:27
it was a bunch of filler for I mean, for the audience that children watching it to try to like make it more enjoyable, but I feel like it would, I'd be interested to see like a kid's reaction to this. Like, do they like the the lawnmower fights and the fact that they're all fucking gnomes. And yeah, I don't know. I
Misha 42:47
bet I bet kids would like it more. Because they're not get like we were so bombarded with references. That it was just like, too much enough already. We get it. It's so on the nose and kids wouldn't get that so I bet yeah, like, kids just watched it. They'd be like, Oh, here's some funny shit that happens over you know, like, all this weird stuff. I don't know. I keep trying to think like, would kids like any of this?
Tyler 43:13
Yeah, maybe. I mean, maybe yeah, like I could see myself laughing at some of the things as a kid like Featherstone. The flamingos like stupid, stupid voice he voiced by Jim Cummings, who's been on here quite a few times. Free who was he that we because he's like Winnie the Pooh. But are Tigger right. But what has he been in that we've already seen? I don't remember.
Misha 43:43
Seeing this as a Darkwing. Duck, what? He's Tigger and Winnie the Pooh. Okay. Yeah, but we'll see that we saw
Tyler 43:51
we can cut this out. But now I'm like, on a down a down a fucking
Misha 43:54
rabbit hole. Oh, Aladdin. No. Yeah.
Tyler 43:59
Oh, yeah. He was, uh,
Misha 44:00
he's the main card. Yeah. Or whatever. So. Okay, so
Tyler 44:08
are we back to a one then for story? Let's give it a two. Let's give it a two because it's gonna get you a couple. Yes. Thinkers. Come on. I
Misha 44:15
agree. A two.
Tyler 44:17
Okay, so two for story. And next up animation.
Misha 44:22
I mean, yeah, I thought it was pretty good. Like other than like, you know, I had a couple things that like, stylistically I didn't like or that they put in like, and it's like, some of the referencing like the to be not to be the set like some of that kind of stuff that they just threw in there. Like the tempest teapots or whatever. It's like, it didn't have to be there. And it wasn't mentioned verbally or part of the story. So I felt like that should be it should lose points and animation just for like hitting you over the head like we get it. It's called Yeah, fucking called Gnomeo and Juliet. Like, you don't have to remind us what this is. And was just in the animation. Yeah,
Tyler 45:10
I think like it's totally fine for a movie to have easter eggs like this. I think these count is Easter eggs, but not when the Easter eggs are like I wouldn't call these Easter egg. Oh, okay. Yeah, just being as generous as possible. Like these things in the background. Like, for example, when they go to feather stones shed and they see they find out that he is missing his love. There's like, there's like a blink and you miss a thing? Well, it's not actually, I let me amend that because it's not blinking. You miss it. First. It's blinking. You miss it. And then they zoom in and show you and they bang you over the head with it. But there's like a thing on the wall. That's like a clipping from a play production of as you like it. And if it just if it just left it like that, like quickly, you could see it but then the zoom.
Misha 45:50
Yeah, that's what they do with a lot of them. And
Tyler 45:54
it's like they they take the easter eggs and then they throw them at you. And you got easter egg on your face. Yeah, there was like a movie you have to eat that Easter. That easter egg. There was like a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern reference. There were so many. We don't have to list them all. But yeah, that should take a little bit of points off. And then
Misha 46:14
what I really didn't like is Gnomeo he had blond head hair, black eyebrows and a white beard. And I was so distracted by that. I get black eyebrows and a white beard. Don't give him blond hair on top. That doesn't make any sense to tips. He's got frosted tips. He's a teen. He's a teen and 2011 Didn't they have frozen pimples painted his own hair? I mean, there's a whole kin gnomes change. There's a whole montage where they're getting ready for their date and like Juliet repaints her they both paint them so yeah, but it's like they're not changing. They're just like cleaning up and spiffing. Oh, but the front did put frog makeup on Yeah. And jewels that offensive to frogs.
Tyler 47:04
Well, it's the well, either this frog which we could talk about this frog frog. This frog is I think canonically racist, so I think it would be offensive to other frogs. This this frog installation not even a true frog is a is racist, because there's that whole Japanese thing we can talk about.
Misha 47:26
Yeah, I was like, Uh, I am confused and I tried looking it up to see like what she asked if she actually said anything. So Juliet is going to steal the orchid and puts on like a burglars sign suck over her and like, you know, looks
Tyler 47:47
like a stereotypical ninja from like a TV thing or movie kind of Yeah.
Misha 47:52
Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks. Which I didn't actually get I was just like a cat burglar wears all black to like, blend into the shadows. She puts
Tyler 48:03
that on but then she I guess the pointed she like she then does some punches and then and then the frog kind of SPEAKS GIBBERISH Japanese or maybe real Japanese but either way it's kind of it's offensive
Misha 48:16
right in with it. Like weird Japanese accent thing that was? Yeah, Mickey Rooney not cool Breakfast
Tyler 48:25
at Tiffany's?
Misha 48:26
Yeah
Tyler 48:30
yeah, I think the frog face is racist. But yeah, the Juliet like re does her her eyeliner eyebrow grows. Oh
Misha 48:39
yeah, they put permanently put marker on her the edges for eyelids for eyeliner. Yummy. Oh
Tyler 48:44
uses whiteout to like make his beard wider. So maybe he maybe maybe he's coloring his hair frosted. It is I was put off by the fact that he's like a teen with a white neck beard. That was a little odd to me. But I guess that's no So
Misha 48:59
are you saying he's a teenager because of Romeo and Juliet? Yes.
Tyler 49:04
Yeah. That's where I'm I could be why do you think these gnomes are? That's a good point. I have no clue. I'm guessing they're young. They're acting kinda like young and, like, out for adventure. So I see them as like, maybe how do you age unknown? How do you age you know, I don't know whether I don't know. I don't know. Boy,
Misha 49:31
like adding paint and like buffing themselves out. And some of the rougher lives Yeah.
Tyler 49:41
I don't know. They could be stop saying I don't know. I don't.
Misha 49:46
I don't know.
Tyler 49:50
Ah, yeah. I'm guessing they're well, I mean, they're young ish. They're supposed to be young ish, but gnomes are bearded. So they should still have beards?
Misha 50:02
Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Thank you. Okay, animation. I thought it was fine. It's good. It's
Tyler 50:10
fine. Yeah, I think it's gonna be fun is actually yeah, it's nothing was really wonky and bad. It's plants
Misha 50:17
look nice. Yeah. Oh I don't know, I just want to say you can't just take a flat an orchid flower and stick it in soil and be like Hurray. It's gonna grow into a new orchid like inside of I guess they were in the greenhouse at that point. But yeah, I was kind of bothered sometimes they were making like, you know, stupid mistakes and aren't they the gardeners in this world?
Tyler 50:44
That's the thing. They're supposed to be the Yeah, the caretakers of these gardens, they should know what they're doing.
Misha 50:48
Do humans know that they're the ones taking care of the gardens because they're doing all this stuff to maintain the gardens. They're mowing the lawns. They're cleaning the graffiti off of the well. They're keeping everything in order. And when these old people be like, who's doing this?
Tyler 51:06
You would think so. But there's so few filled with hatred for each other and they're probably both like suffering from dementia, maybe that they're like,
Misha 51:13
I don't know. Yeah. Also, why does somebody need 100 gnomes in their garden?
Tyler 51:19
Now? That's a question that I don't have an answer to. Like. There's so many fucking gnomes in this movie. There's so many gnomes that even the gnomes can't keep track of everybody. They're just too many fucking knows that there's like the gnome that sunbathing and is never mentioned again. Like he's number one. There's the one with the it's just the green a garden.
Misha 51:40
Yeah, it's just trash and a garden. Yeah, when you have that many it's just trash.
Tyler 51:46
It's just trash.
Misha 51:47
And there's a literal. Also, I do want to talk about the flamingos, humans. They got divorced, and they didn't sell that huge, beautiful house. They just walked away just
Tyler 52:00
walked away from it.
Misha 52:03
From like, a million dollar or
Tyler 52:06
the other. The other thing is, well, yeah, I mean, it's still a mystery. But my thinking was the the man kept the house because the the lady Flamingo left. So I was thinking they were being gendered and like, the lady left with all her shit. So the man stays, he dies.
Misha 52:23
And the house falls into disrepair. No, there were two moving trucks.
Tyler 52:27
Was there another moving trophy left? Do you have to? Yeah, I missed it.
Misha 52:32
I thought this. So I thought these two people would fight. And then they turns out, they moved into the detached homes not knowing that who their neighbor was and that the two elderly people were going to be them. And that the Furminator was gonna break the fence, and they'd have to collectively fix their fucking garden and build the fence and then they realized that they still love each other. No, there's no point to anything that happened in this fucking movie. But that's
Tyler 53:01
an interesting take that they're both these old people are old,
Misha 53:04
the gnomes like the gnomes their hatred for each other knocked the fence down and then brought these two old people together. I really thought that's what it was going to
Tyler 53:13
- But instead they just scream and then the movie ends. But in maybe in Sherlock gnomes, they just they explore that more. I guess there's no, my guess is no, they don't. Because they're adding a new character with more pun related humors Yes.
Misha 53:30
Voice fire was Johnny Depp. I know it's gonna be bad. It's gonna be why. Why do people do the things they do owe money? Never mind.
Tyler 53:42
Why do people keep giving that guy work? Anyway? Money so why? Yeah, money, money, money. There's so many speaking of which there are so many people in this movie that are so much better than this movie. But whatever. Yeah, let me Monday money. Animation, I think yeah, it's, it's crisp. It looks it. I mean, it looks fine. It's well executed. The movement doesn't look janky and weird, even though they're like rock creatures running around.
Misha 54:12
There was a point actually, there's another thing I wanted to mention. When Gnomeo is away, like trying to get home or run away, I'm not really sure. He's in this like, soccer field or whatever it is. I think you're gonna mention the thing that I need yours are like tossing him around. And they do not move the way humans are supposed to be human. Yeah,
Tyler 54:37
the humans are all really weird. But especially in that scene. There's a girl on the left who is like, Yes,
Misha 54:43
that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, she did not like any thing that is alive. Now I don't know what that was. It was weird. It
Tyler 54:54
was very weird. And yeah, so there are little things like that, like the humans are the real people are Are are not executed properly. These could have spent a little bit more time on them. However, I do appreciate that they didn't show faces of humans because that might have been a little too Christmas Carol Lee and oh,
Misha 55:11
wait, they showed the face of one human. And it was a real living human. I don't know if you saw this on the screensaver of Lady Montague's computer, it was the face of David Hasselhoff dancing around which also like why
Tyler 55:29
Hasselhoff? Like?
Misha 55:30
I don't know. I don't know. It would
Tyler 55:35
have been made what does he have to do with anything? So you have to do with anything? It may would have made more sense if it were Elton John because he was all over this incredible movies. Where were we animations for? Are we what are we going to get? Like somewhere in the middle? Eight? Middle? Yeah, I thought it was like okay. There's nothing wrong with that. But it was good. It's good. It's Oh,
Misha 55:57
I don't know. Seven, six of walk.
Tyler 56:02
I mean, eights a bit high, though.
Misha 56:04
I think it's higher than the eight is high. Eight is high, six or seven.
Tyler 56:07
Trying to throw a no mid like not making things up a little bit.
Misha 56:14
I don't know. I just thought like, Okay, this isn't bad, like this, like sign but no, you're right. Okay, let's look at some of the other stuff. We're a little rusty. I'm you know, that's on me. I don't know what's going on.
Tyler 56:28
I feel like eight is quite generous. Okay,
Misha 56:30
let's stop mentioning the flubbed. Okay, it's worse than Frankenweenie we
Tyler 56:36
get frozen to six.
Misha 56:37
What was wrong with frozen?
Tyler 56:40
There are a bunch of wonky parts to it. Like there are a bunch of like, wonky, like CGI missteps in should
Misha 56:47
this get a six or five or six. It's better than saying yes.
Tyler 56:52
I think it's six is fine. I
Misha 56:53
mean, we've got a six. That should have gotten way lower. Well, no,
Tyler 56:59
there was a lot of it the youth I mean, it's a while ago, but oh yeah, there's
Misha 57:02
that I liked I'm still traumatized by Fun and Fancy Free. That feels some
Tyler 57:08
part of that some problems. Yeah, I think I think a six is fine for Romeo and Juliet. Okay, let's do six. Okay, music and sound. Okay, where to begin here. So, this Yeah, this movie is produced by Elton John and his picture company is on Sir Elton John. Elton John. Music and most of the music and lyrics are him and his partner Bernie topping although it didn't say sir in the credits. Maybe he wasn't a sir into this one. I think it's more recent. See when he got knighted? My guess is 2018 1998 Fuck me sideways
Tyler 57:52
was it Aiden? Why? Why didn't it say surfer? Well, I don't know. Maybe he's trying to be modest. But it's funny if he's trying to be modest because the whole movie is produced by him isn't that it's filled with his music. James Newton Howard does like it's part of the score. Who fun fact used to be in Elton John's band. I looked that up and didn't know that before. But he does a lot of we've seen him on this podcast before he I forget which movie but he does a bunch of movies. So part of the score is okay, but whenever they bring in like Elton John's music, yes. Very just tired and bored.
Misha 58:30
Okay, we also have not mentioned Dolly Parton yet.
Tyler 58:35
Yeah. Dolly Parton is in it. And Ozzy Osbourne Yeah, okay,
Misha 58:38
I'm gonna. Okay, let's look at the cast. Yeah, this cast Yeah, we need to just name drop some of these people. Because why did this happen? So we've got Elton John, obviously James McAvoy plays Gnomeo Dolly Parton. Emily, please Juliet, Ozzy Osbourne, Jason Statham. Michael Caine. Stephen Merchant. Maggie Smith, Patrick Stewart. Hulk Hogan. I mean, yeah, this is it's like a star studded cast for a turd. A cement turd that fell out of somebody's sometimes, but
Tyler 59:27
I can now assume that Elton John was like throwing a fuckload of money at this. I don't know. The director. There's some quote he's like, I didn't cast people because of their names. I listened to the voices and made sure that they fit for the part and then I it's like, how a little shout NO, that that's Michael Caine's voice like who the fuck are you? Yeah. James McAvoy. If you if I didn't know that was McAfee. Maybe. I probably wouldn't know everyone else was like a pretty wreck even like Emily Blunt has a very pretty distinct voice Maggie Smith. Patrick Stewart obviously. Yeah, maybe wouldn't have known it was Ozzy Osbourne maybe because it could have been someone doing an Ozzy Osbourne voice. I wouldn't have known it was Jim Cummings because he's like, you know, a voice actor a chameleon. But yeah, it's I didn't know as Dolly Parton until I looked it up. I didn't notice her. That didn't that didn't.
Misha 1:00:21
Oh, yeah. I mean, I think we could have I would have guessed that it was somebody in person like, because they styled the gnome to look like Dolly Parton. Yeah, so um, yeah, I
Tyler 1:00:36
would have thought like, oh, there's no way they got Dolly Parton to do this bit part. They got someone to sound like her. Oh, no. Turns out they got her they paid her the money.
Misha 1:00:44
Okay, this credit song, which we'll get into but Hello, hello was performed by Elton John and Lady Gaga. Yeah. Didn't realize it was Lady Gaga.
Tyler 1:00:57
Okay, it was it was going on. Yeah. And then the there's another song at the end when they're doing the dance number that's I mean, it's an Elton John song but Nelly Furtado sings it got a bunch of people. And a bunch of people. Oh, boy. I don't know I guess well, first off, I I'm not the biggest fan of Elton John's music I have no problem with him. I like some songs. I but it's like
Misha 1:01:20
I do too. I do love crocodile rock and I was kind of bothered by that
Tyler 1:01:24
the remix Yeah.
Misha 1:01:26
i Yeah, I
Tyler 1:01:27
there's some songs I think are great if his some songs I think are over overdone. But it's just I don't know, like this weaving in of like, taking his music and making it into a score with all these montages. I don't like it's a bit much I just feel like it's a bit much. i What do you think of the music?
Misha 1:01:48
I thought it was okay. I liked the sound of like the clickety clackety like the Yeah, I liked the sounds the gnomes made. I like when they tap the plastic Flamingo it sounded hollow. Like it did a really good job with the Foley art. Yes. Um, so I like that. For those who haven't seen
Tyler 1:02:11
it, like when the gnomes are moving and running, it sounds like stone creatures moving and running. And so yeah.
Misha 1:02:19
So I thought that was really good. I liked the score. Okay, I thought the score was fine.
Tyler 1:02:24
Parts of it. I
Misha 1:02:26
thought were found nothing to really like on the good side of okay. Yeah, but I didn't like the songs. I was really confused because so it takes place by the way everybody I don't think we've mentioned this. It's a British story or like it takes place in the UK. I'm guessing England somewhere I
Tyler 1:02:46
don't really instruct our Stratford upon Avon. According According to Wikipedia,
Misha 1:02:51
yeah. Okay. So you know, I and it is a very like, you know, British garden. I don't know how they're Brits are about no trash.
Tyler 1:03:01
Apparently Brits love it. According to this movie.
Misha 1:03:05
Out of the 2000 Britons polled an overwhelming 94% said said they would never have a gnome in their garden.
Tyler 1:03:14
Okay, so this is maybe Americans thinking about what British people are like. Maybe do Americans where does this gnome thing come from? Do Americans have garden gnomes? Is that like, where's this tradition?
Misha 1:03:31
Oh, but then I'm seeing that there is no love in Britain. Okay, and then hear British love affair with the ruddy face gnomes peaked in the 1970s after manufacturers came up with well, naughty gnomes. Hmm yeah,
Tyler 1:03:47
they do have okay no garden
Misha 1:03:49
gnomes originated as decoration for the wealthy in Europe. Why? This is a is
Tyler 1:03:57
this a folk fact? Is this a Crinkle? Crinkle crinkle tinkle folk crack these Yeah,
Misha 1:04:02
these are folk facts. This is the new segment folk facts. Boy,
Tyler 1:04:07
what did you think of the show stopper do it with Lady Gaga?
Misha 1:04:11
Hello, hello. It was not great.
Tyler 1:04:17
It was it was not great. Although it is
Misha 1:04:21
but that's not necessarily good. But the Beatle song is stuck in my head
Tyler 1:04:25
yeah, it's kind of confusing mess. Yeah,
Misha 1:04:28
I said it was just okay I was like what is this song and it didn't I don't know. It didn't sit right not in that doesn't sit right category doesn't sit right but it just didn't it like didn't land
Tyler 1:04:41
I didn't think it landed at all and I don't this is no disrespect to Lady Gaga She's extremely talented. But her like sort of Husky soulful take just didn't really like she brought too much energy to this song I think. Yeah, it's like a fucking movie but gnomes meeting and falling in love and she's like, No Oh, yeah, it really went. Oh,
Misha 1:05:04
I was bringing up the British thing because I was like, okay, so it's gonna have like this like cutesy cottagey. You know, Classic cottage English cottage garden vibe to the movie and it didn't. So why is it set there? Yeah, this
Tyler 1:05:18
is the nose. Yeah, this isn't cute and cottagey This is. Okay, have a tip of my tongue. Score. I had something funny, but it just, I lost it. I lost it. Let's get musical score. Yeah, I mean, it just fell. It just like the references the pop culture references like the whole movie. Being Elton John songs just felt really lazy and tired. And yeah,
Misha 1:05:44
yeah. I think for Max
Tyler 1:05:47
Formax I think parts of the score were okay and pretty solid. And I think the sound should affect the score positively. So, yeah, I think four works. Yeah, four sounds good. Okay. I think that the sound effects are maybe like the the highlight of the whole thing.
Misha 1:06:03
That's part. Yeah, I agree. So maybe should we go up to five? Absolutely. No. Okay.
Tyler 1:06:13
Yeah, no, protagonist. Now, would this be no me or would this be Gnomeo and Juliet do you think is the love interest? Because she's not given a lot to do? I guess it's just know me. I feel like it's I feel like the way the movie is set up. It's just know me. Oh, yeah.
Misha 1:06:30
The fucking treorchy It's
Tyler 1:06:33
fucking smashed the gnome pager.
Misha 1:06:35
Okay. Um, besides that, I forgot to mention when he says when they first meet for the first time, yeah. He says, who's your Nomi? Is your I threw up in my mouth.
Tyler 1:06:52
I'll be honest, I can't believe we haven't mentioned this before. I was drinking coffee. And it came back up like bile. It was so disgusting. And her reaction was perfect. Cuz it was very Emily Blunt in like, Devil Wears Prada to like, who's your Nomi? Like, who the fuck do you think you are saying? But then they? She repeated it. Yeah. Who's user? No
Misha 1:07:14
now and I'm like, Yeah,
Tyler 1:07:16
that was bad. We should just stick stuck with like, who's your Nomi? Gnomeo isn't bad, I guess. But he he's got a bit of charm. He's, he's okay. I really hated that. Not only the Hoosier Nomi part, which should make him lose points for saying that. Also, he was trying out those other lines. Like, did you feel like you fell
Misha 1:07:39
in the mirror? Yeah, I was like, like, because he wasn't doing that before they'd already met. They've already like had sparks or whatever.
Tyler 1:07:49
This is like, Yeah, this is like Max Goofy trying to impress Roxanne by not being himself in when she already clearly likes him for who he is like that sort of right. I also hated like, they meet and they had the sparks fly. They clearly earn interest in each other. And the first thing he does is like, play, like keep away with the flower that she wants. Just give her the fucking flower you check out Yeah, he
Misha 1:08:14
does later. But it's like, why? Because at that point, maybe because he wanted the flower, right?
Tyler 1:08:21
He didn't want it. He went there because he saw her just escape. Oh, he he escaped from the red zone. And he landed in that right and in place. And then he sees her running on the greenhouse and then he goes up there because he's curious. He wasn't
Misha 1:08:36
wanted to flower right? He's being a dick.
Tyler 1:08:40
He's only being a dick to be. It's like the fucking Yeah, which is really lame. It's really not Yeah. Where the fuck were we? Gnomeo he's okay. I mean, like, it's not horrible. Is he?
Misha 1:08:53
I like it less than max Goofy. If you know for sure.
Tyler 1:08:57
Yeah, for sure. If that's the benchmark and Max five or something. You got a six? A six. That makes us super likable. He's like a really relatable. Yeah, teen protagonist isn't
Misha 1:09:11
okay, so Lightning McQueen got a one in the first one a one. No cars to wait. Let's forget the cars universe. It's too much for me. Yeah, hi, Kate. Mater. So that's what I thought. Okay.
Tyler 1:09:28
What's the like Aladar from dinosaur gotta four somehow I
Misha 1:09:32
still think this guy's Sure. Just as Aladar but he's
Tyler 1:09:37
I feel a little bit more than Aladar he's more than Aladar
Misha 1:09:42
land but I'm like irritated a little bit by who's your gosh, okay.
Tyler 1:09:48
All right. So let's give him a four then maybe or do you want to go less than four?
Misha 1:09:53
A four is fine. Oh, tying was Aladar I feel bad for Aladar now line 44 is good, but the Who's your Nomi and the like talking to himself practicing pickup games in the mirror. Okay. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Toxic. Yeah. Also, she had to be saved at the end Bailey hit like. Yeah, I
Tyler 1:10:18
feel like we're gonna hit it in that cap like in other categories. We're going to hit it. Yeah those things but but for sure, like the the dad literally gluing her in place her yeah to set her up with Paris. Yeah. Sidekick. Well, that would be Benny, the guy who like has the big hat that gets broken and like bios. And shroom I think is two I would say feather stones a sidekick, probably to the flamingo. Oh, the
Misha 1:10:44
flamingo? No, not a sidekick. Just a character. I would say feathers. Just yeah.
Tyler 1:10:52
I think I like shroom. I like that. She's kind of like a dog. He's cute. I think Ben is fucking moron.
Misha 1:10:58
Yeah, he's the
Tyler 1:11:00
worst. Yeah, actually, he's not the worst, but there are some worse people but he's he's a total doofus. I'm trying to remember who he is. He like who is based on the play. But Romeo had a couple of doofus buddies.
Misha 1:11:14
They were worse than Gnomeo. Actually, no,
Tyler 1:11:17
I they weren't worse than Gnomeo.
Misha 1:11:20
But the mushroom isn't.
Tyler 1:11:21
The mushroom isn't. Yeah.
Misha 1:11:23
So should they tie with Gnomeo? Because yeah.
Tyler 1:11:28
Because no, okay, we're hurting Gnomeo because he's irritating in like a douche bro way. But he still has like a heart any any cares about people and he tries to do the right thing. Whereas Benny is like, I
Misha 1:11:44
feel like he's just like, No, let's leave everybody and bang in this like garden shed. That's a powerful urge.
Tyler 1:11:54
Lucky filer. That's relatable. Julius.
Misha 1:12:00
Oh my god. Okay, so we know how any gnomes and Istanbul area have come to be. A psych Yeah, I mean, are they three? Yeah, yeah. Three. Or four? Is that too? Good?
Tyler 1:12:23
I don't think they should be better than him. Like, okay, what does he bring to the table? Is
Misha 1:12:27
this true hard on? No, me. Oh.
Tyler 1:12:38
Are we too hard on Gnomeo? No meal we not
Tyler 1:12:48
know, I mean, three, three seems right to me. Really. But I don't think I feel like okay,
Misha 1:12:53
four is is more fair. He wasn't that bad. Was he? I think
Tyler 1:12:59
well, that was my argument. But then you convinced me otherwise. And now I don't want to change back. Okay, fine. Forest. Fine. I can go. We can go back to Florida.
Misha 1:13:10
All right. No, Bo. titular Gnomeo gets a four chiller,
Tyler 1:13:15
the wickedly tower. So he gets a four. I think the side kicks are the same. At best. The second best, give them a four want to be nice, fine. Okay. I think Benny's awful. Yeah, but I liked the little mushroom. The mushroom was really cute. Okay. Very helpful. Yeah. Okay, villain is that tilters that the tractor in the end? I think
Misha 1:13:42
it's Tybalt. Right? Yeah. He's not a good villain. He's
Tyler 1:13:48
not a good villain. I like Jason Statham. Jason
Misha 1:13:52
Stata. We don't need to listen. We do need to talk about Jason Stata. I love Jason state. I really
Tyler 1:13:58
love him. Have you seen the movies? No. You have to watch by He's so good. Oh, I
Misha 1:14:03
have seen spy. Okay, okay. Yeah, I liked it. Yeah, yeah, that's a good movie. I liked it. I just forgot, because it's too generic of a name. So
Tyler 1:14:13
stay thumb has Tybalt has one line where before he attacks Benny, he says something like, that's a big hat for such a little gnome. And it's just delivered. So well. I didn't like it. I thought it was great. I thought it was a great line. Yeah, it's a stupid movie and a stupid concept.
Misha 1:14:30
Actor. I know. I didn't like that character at all. It was like so over the top like, they so they do this thing where they make someone so awful. That when they die, like what we thought he did that you're like, everybody's like, Oh, no, and you're just like, okay, whatever. And like that's kind of cruel. Yeah. To to get kids to think that way. I like to make characters. So one note that it's fine that they're murdered. It's fine that they're cheated on. It's fine like that. And kids movies, but they do this in like, movies for adults to where it's like, no one. I don't know why I'm defending any man who has a deck and needs his deck cut off. But like, they Yeah, it's just like so over the top. And it becomes boring and annoying. I don't know. He's just like, he's, he's, he's just a jerk. He's just a jerk. Yeah, yeah, he's just a jerk. And it's like, all right. Get this guy out of here. Yeah. So but then it keeps coming back. Like, you don't need that for the story.
Tyler 1:15:49
Yeah, the, the whole families or, or not even families, but the, the gardens against each other is enough pressure. You don't need those. Yeah, antagonists
Misha 1:16:01
Tibble I thought they were gonna be like, because he's the one that sort of instigating a lot of the attacks, right, or committing them and doing it himself. So I thought his role would be like, Oh, we're gonna change it up a little bit where we realize like, he's the one who's been doing after he dies, like, he's the one that's been doing it. He's the one that's causing all the strife between the two sides. That now we can sort of get past that realizing because he's the jerk who did it all, that we're not really like mad at each other, you know, as two different sides, like it's been Himo long. Because he was like doing so he was so over the top about it. But then they were like, Oh, he's dead. And I'm like, Forget everything he did. He's the one that like, did a lot. And I don't know. Yeah.
Tyler 1:16:55
I mean, that's pretty matter. That's pretty true to the play as far as I remember. Yeah, I do think you bring up an interesting interesting point, though, that like having one note, bad guys. Isn't teaching kids like the right lesson. I mean, it's very simple as like, simplistic good versus bad is maybe teaching good, good ethics and good morals, like be a nice person don't care about don't judge someone based on pre judgments about where they come from, blah, blah, blah. And this guy's bad because he does that. And he doesn't think for himself. That's all good. But then like, I know it, we also need to teach the empathy part where like, even someone who you don't agree with and who is not nice to you, you should still like not wish them dead type thing, right? Yeah. I agree with you.
Misha 1:17:43
I don't know this whole movie is like, it's like, all of the classic, like, gender roles and toxic masculinity. And all like, all of that is in this and right like, even when you have a bad guy die. Like he's dead. He smashed 2 million pieces. Let's move on that is continuing that like suppress emotions. This is a bat like
Tyler 1:18:09
are like, Oh, he's dead. Let's now let's get angry and attack. To defend our side. Yeah,
Misha 1:18:15
right. Instead of like, right. It's just like, just so much anger. And it only is cured by their children dying. Why don't you just talk to each other? Why don't you just talk to each other? Go see, you know, I was trying to come up with like, a gnome boil. Mala just I don't know if they're pissed. But
Tyler 1:18:44
so what do we think for Tybalt? Like a one to two? I mean, does he get points for like being a bad guy that we use it? We've heard again, right?
Misha 1:18:53
Yeah, but he's like not even the main it's like his character doesn't affect the story all that much, just a little bit in his death. And a little bit with like, keeping the rivalry going, but he's not like I wouldn't say up until that last part where Gnomeo is going after him for chopping Benny's head off. He's like, not the main villain or antagonists in he's
Tyler 1:19:20
just there. Yeah, he's a he is an antagonist, but he's like a bully. He's like who's around? Yeah, he's not the he's not like the villain, right? Yeah. Yes. To to TU sounds, jerk and we.
Misha 1:19:35
Yeah, all right. henchmen henchmen, the fawn Ozzy Osborne
Tyler 1:19:41
Murphy, Ozzy Osbourne, the fawn and all those little little gnomes. The little ones don't actually like Tybalt but they listen to him. I think that's a one one good, the foreign is stupid. And not interesting. Yeah.
Misha 1:19:56
Strong Female Lead one. Man, Julia is doing give her a little bit of points
Tyler 1:20:03
because she, yes, she's had. She's independent. She's just hamstrung by family. And I know
Misha 1:20:10
I was quick to say that because I was annoyed that she had to be saved at the end. Yeah.
Tyler 1:20:16
The movie I mean, yeah, we should definitely not give it a high so if she did,
Misha 1:20:19
but so and leave, because she didn't want to be stuck at her castle pedestal or whatever it was. And yeah, but
Tyler 1:20:33
she leaves to go get a flower to impress her so that she can have more responsibilities in in the structure. So again, smash the patriarchy but I mean, I think she should at some point she's she's independent, not independent. Willful she's got a mind of her own. She wants to be she's she's independent in a in a bad way. Yeah. But I she has some. I mean, she makes decisions and acts upon them when she's not super glued to fucking Yeah, yeah.
Misha 1:21:04
Three, four.
Tyler 1:21:07
Yeah. 334 sounds a bit two, three, maybe four. Juliet.
Misha 1:21:12
You know, they should have given her more of a lead. I think
Tyler 1:21:17
this very Okay, so this is a movie that I mean, obviously, you can keep the Romeo and Juliet bass of it. But mess with it more. This could all be about Juliet could be the lead and Gnomeo could be the guy who gets super glued to the tower because his mom's overly protective. You could have Juliet be the protagonist, and it's not changing the movie that much. It's just more interesting. bipoc representation slash portrayal. Now this is we get a frog doing painting frog face and we also get a frog doing the Japanese voice. And
Misha 1:21:54
that's about it. Well, no
Tyler 1:22:01
actors of color at all.
Misha 1:22:04
I don't think so. Not in this one. Gnomes are also don't need to all be white. All the gnomes were white, too. Yeah. Right. And also, yeah, all of the gnomes were white. And the actors are white.
Tyler 1:22:20
Yeah. Also feathers stones voice kind of, I don't know. I don't know how I feel about this actually. Like, it kind of put me off like this. White dude doing a sort of,
Misha 1:22:33
like, Latino accent to I wasn't gonna do this. I was gonna put that in the doesn't sit well, we can put a category because this gets a one. Because it's all white gnomes and an all white cast. Yep. And then we've got the Japanese. Whatever that was. Yeah. And, and the, like, maybe Spanish or Latina? I don't know what he was trying to do. Oh, yes. Yeah.
Tyler 1:23:02
Yeah, I mean, part of me is like, sure. Yeah, we can save it for doesn't sit right. So yeah, one for bipoc representation slash portrayal. Fun Factor. I mean, to maybe like one a little bit of fun. It is a little bit of Yeah, it's a little bit of fun. It's a little bit of
Misha 1:23:20
fun. Not much, how much. I think it ties with Fun and Fancy Free. Because this isn't depressing in the same way that Fun and Fancy Free is Yeah. Which was really depressing. Yeah, when it was and but this is sort of like a steady level of like, yeah, a little fun. Yeah. That sounds really good to tie. Sure. Okay.
Tyler 1:23:47
Okay, so it doesn't sit right all right, let's jump back to the way we were just talking about
Misha 1:23:54
I don't want to have it lose points for frog face because she's a frog and I don't want to cross that line of equating like frog face with blackface are not the same. And although it may have looked like it, she was still a frog. And I Yeah, but we can get lose points. It can lose points for the Japanese, whatever that was. And what was the last thing we said further?
Tyler 1:24:23
So instead of doing like a Oh, yes, maybe Cuban or something accent or? I don't know. It's like, I don't know, like where the line is. And I'm definitely not the arbiter of that line. But like, right there is there is a point where like, impressions of people from other cultures goes too far. And it's like you're not you're not doing like you're not doing for example, like Stanley Tucci doing a German accent in Captain America a weird pull but like, but like you're not doing Yeah, you're not doing a character you're doing a bit. And like the voice is like a bit
Misha 1:24:57
right like Doflamingo could be From anywhere, I mean, okay, flamingos aren't from anywhere. But for the sake of this like, how would a flamingo get an act a plastic thing get that is comes to life get an accent? Yeah, we don't know about, you know, like shouldn't have the accent for
Tyler 1:25:18
your help. I don't really know. And then also if you're gonna have a do an accent, just get someone with that accent then like don't get some white right?
Misha 1:25:27
Who's also who's doing funny voices and that. So that's what they're doing. Yeah, this is a funny voice, right? That's the problem. I don't know. It wasn't that bad. Yeah, like, right. It's like, yeah, I
Tyler 1:25:40
don't know, like, maybe we can cut this out. But like,
Misha 1:25:43
I
Tyler 1:25:45
do as a kid never had problems with like, all the different weird voices Robin Williams does. Now as an adult looking back, maybe I would like, is he like, he'll do what he did whatever voice he felt like doing and maybe he was crossing some lines that are now here. So yeah, but here, this felt icky to me. I don't know. Yeah, and the Japanese things
Misha 1:26:05
certainly did. It was also just like, so early, felt icky. The Japanese thing I was like, Okay, that is weird and
Tyler 1:26:12
is so out of place. Like what was the purpose for that? Like, I don't know. It's just basically teaching kids like you can. You can do like the Siamese cat voice from Arista, cats. And it's okay. And it's like, isn't that right? Yeah. So I mean, how many points we want to give it for negativity doesn't sit right.
Misha 1:26:32
Negative, fine. Like, oh, that's a lot more than what I was thinking. Oh, okay. Negative three. Yeah, let's do that. I mean, yeah, I was thinking like negative three. I'll let's see what we've done.
1:26:44
I can't remember anything. Negative three was frozen to four. Negative three was also cars. Four. But now I'm like clumsy portrayals of other people's.
Misha 1:26:56
I think what was cars for? Now remember? Wait, let's look at Frankenweenie Oh, Frankie, we got a lot because he's in it a lot. That's like the whole movie that we had to suffer through that. That was outrageous. Um, let's give it a negative. I would agree. And I think okay, well,
Tyler 1:27:19
give me your reasoning. So I was gonna say negative four because I said five. You said three. So let's meet in the middle. But all
Misha 1:27:25
right, let's meet in the middle. Let's meet in the middle. Negative four. Okay. All right. effervescence, big old frog.
Tyler 1:27:33
I'm a big a big old frog. Yeah. Big old No. All right.
Misha 1:27:40
No
Tyler 1:27:42
known points for big zero for effervescence. So all
Misha 1:27:45
right. What does this mean for the total score? I'm ready. Oh, wow, we this got a 27 which ties with our last episode Fun and Fancy Free. VPD.
Tyler 1:27:57
I think that's happening,
Misha 1:27:59
rising
Tyler 1:28:00
back to back. Interest. That
Misha 1:28:03
is the first time we've had a back to back we've come close. With Alice in Wonderland and Aladdin. But yeah,
Tyler 1:28:09
well, well. Well. Interesting. Well, yeah, I mean, you've heard it what do you know? What do you know? This movie was bad. And if you thought, Well, how could a movie based on an old play with a punny name be bad? Well, surprise, surprise. It's a piece of fucking shit. Next step is a movie. I'm excited to rewatch, though, cuz I remember you've been talking about this for a while. All right, let's say like that. Partially, well, one, I'm excited because I remember liking it a lot. So I'm wondering if I'll still like it. Also, shout out to my friend Steph named Bentley. They've been waiting for the Hercules episode for quite some time. So hopefully, hopefully. Well, hopefully the movie holds up. I don't want to be disappointed. Don't let me down. I
Misha 1:29:04
don't know. I don't think I've seen it. Really? Remember? Would like yeah,
Tyler 1:29:09
I see. Maybe Hades is Blue Jays. Okay. Yeah, no, I've
Misha 1:29:14
seen like, clips or pictures, but I don't think I've seen the whole thing. Like I couldn't tell you what the story is. I know Hades is blue. I know what he sounds like.
Tyler 1:29:30
I just added way too many syllables to the song. Thanks, everybody for listening. And again, thanks for the patience for a little break. And if you want to get in touch actually if I could really quick read a quick this doesn't need to be a new segment but like a quick little review. If that's okay, yeah. So shadow to haste. A friend of mine from Belgium that said of me Sure. You already know this. You guys are lucky we have great health insurance here in Belgium or I'd be suing you for medical costs after ripping several internal organs laughing about lump jaw slash blump chub. So thanks for that lovely review, and keep them coming. Yeah, if you guys have any comments or questions or
Misha 1:30:17
if you're wondering what that review has to do about listen to the Fun and Fancy Free episode. Yeah, that came out a couple weeks ago,
Tyler 1:30:26
a couple weeks ago. So again, touch at Much Abu About Nothing much Abu about [email protected] as Misha mentioned earlier in the episode, or
Misha 1:30:36
follow us on Twitter and Instagram @muchabupod
Tyler 1:30:40
and until next time
Misha 1:30:43
Hi. Oh, should we do some show? Thing?
Tyler 1:30:53
such sweet sorrow.
Misha 1:30:55
Nice to know Yeah. phrase that people say.
Tyler 1:31:00
Nice to know. Yeah, yeah. So what what is it sagen I'll be your Gnomeo, who's
Misha 1:31:07
your Gnome
Tyler 1:31:11
All right. Yeah. All right. Bye, everybody.