Please excuse the grammatical errors, any other errors you come across, and the general sloppiness of this transcription of Much Abu About Nothing's podcast episode on Doug's 1st Movie! Our episodes are transcribed by a robot.
Tyler 00:00
content warning. Although this is a podcast about kids movies, this podcast isn't for kids and may contain content some people find offensive
Misha 00:28
Welcome to Much Abu About Nothing. We're just a couple of pounds talking about and objectively rating Disney animated films in alphabetical order following a scientific scoring system based on absolutely nothing. I am Misha,
Tyler 00:45
and I'm Tyler. And this week we are talking about Doug. Sorry, Doug's first movie, which I believe Doug's all, I believe the only movie which maybe we'll get into from 1999 is bit of a weird one. It was like a Nickelodeon thing. Nickelodeon for those youngsters out there was a Nickelodeon still exist? Yeah. Okay, it was a Nickelodeon thing. And then it got bought by Disney somehow. It was originally going to be a movie in like 93, but then got scrapped. And then Disney on the back of the Rugrats Movie. So this is saying something, decided, hey, let's do a dog movie. And this is what we get dogs first movie, X first movie.
Misha 01:30
I think the problem is that they call it a movie. Yeah.
Tyler 01:34
I think that's let's save some of that for like the story part. Because that's, I think we're gonna have some things to talk about. But before we get into it, were you a fan of the show when it was on? When we were younger? I
Misha 01:45
was I was I not sure. Yeah, I think I was maybe just because it was on. Because I don't remember this movie coming out. Yeah, I don't know it existed until we came up with this list. So
Tyler 02:06
the show was we must have been in like middle school in junior high, right, or something like that. And then this we were
Misha 02:12
in high school in 1999. When we actually make sense. When the show came out. The movie came out. We came out we were in
Tyler 02:18
high school. But when the I don't think I was watching this in high school, I think I was watching in like middle school, junior high. And I Yeah, so I think like I was I had grown out of Doug maybe and so then it passed me. Right.
Misha 02:32
Okay, that makes sense. So yeah, it came out in 1991. The show Oh,
Tyler 02:37
wow. So it's even older than I thought. Okay. Yeah, yes.
Misha 02:41
And then the last season, so it was on Nickelodeon from 1991 through 1994. And then there was a little hiatus and then Disney took over in 1996. They had three seasons and then made the movie.
Tyler 02:57
Okay, so I might have seen probably reruns of the first iteration and then some of the Disney version. I mean, I remember liking it's why when you've watched the original 1991 I just don't remember watching it when I was that young. Maybe I did. But I feel like I was a little bit older like watching with my my younger siblings, most of my younger brothers when they were like watching Disney. The Disney Channel all the time. Like Xenon girl, the 21st century Brink shout out to my brothers and my younger sister who will know what I'm talking about anyone else who grew up on Disney Channel in the 90s. Bring xenon, girl. That's it for the brink. You don't don't I'm talking about
Misha 03:43
Xena the next X? Yeah. Like Xena Warrior Princess.
Tyler 03:49
Xenon, like the noble gas. Yeah, well, if it's not a noble gas, I'm gonna punch myself with a Nard sec.
Misha 03:56
It is a no brainer. Yes.
03:59
Periodic Table.
Misha 04:01
But that's all I know. Oh, I see. It's a movie. Or is it a TV show?
Tyler 04:06
It was a it was a it was a TV movie. Like Disney Channel. Oh yeah, that's how Raven was in. Yep, she was the spunky sidekick
Misha 04:17
of course, racist. Just make her the star said. Well,
Tyler 04:22
yeah, they had racism issues back then.
Misha 04:25
Because we don't want this
Tyler 04:28
Nope, it's all fixed. It's all solved. So yeah, so I yeah, maybe I watched it when I was younger but Doug was a 90s thing. And 90s kids watched it. It was popular. I don't remember a lot of it but I just remember like little moments like I remembered Quayle man. Yeah, me too. The fact that he wore underwear on the outside.
Misha 04:50
Pretty much all I could remember mosquito valance beats. Right. I
Tyler 04:55
didn't I didn't remember his name was mosquito that's that was a surprise. It is no You're right, but when they said it in this Yeah, because his name Skeeter, right. And when they said his full name, I was like wait, his parents named him named Miskito that's Valentine.
Misha 05:11
Nope. Patti mayonnaise. Mayonnaise.
Tyler 05:14
Roger. Ginger boy, I forgot his last name. Yeah, these characters I also remember the beats I remember liking that like the the Beatles pond. But I didn't remember much in this movie makes me think that I maybe shouldn't have liked the show right
Tyler 05:39
we are often on the same page when it is important to be on the same page. Good. No controversy in this show. So without further ado, gang, welcome back. This is episode 1920 20. What
Misha 05:56
did she Yeah, what a shame.
Tyler 05:58
But for those who are listening, so 20 Welcome, and thank you for being here with us. Well,
Misha 06:05
it was a better movie. Yeah, I wish movie.
Tyler 06:11
Yeah, good point, instead of a stretched out Laffy Taffy TV show. But we rate these movies as Misha in the beginning, we rate these motherfuckers and we rate them on the basis of different categories different very carefully selected categories, such as originality, story, animation, music and sound. protagonist. Sidekick villain. I'm just fried knees and I'm thinking like what did this movie have in it? Anyway? Villain henchmen strong female lead bipoc representation slash portrayal and fun factor and then we get minus points if something doesn't sit right and bonus points for that. effervescence, that that extra magic, giving it a total score out of 110. And without further ado, I turn it over to my lovely co host for the plot summary.
Misha 07:03
Oh, god. Okay. So in the land of dead funny.
Tyler 07:13
The valance. What's the name of this place? Again? bluffing?
Misha 07:18
Yeah, right. And that's important. It is and it's not.
Tyler 07:24
So it's not a no, there's a reason I say that. I'm not just saying that to like, care more deeply than I do. But there is a reason why that's important.
Misha 07:34
So in the town of bluffing tin, the Valentine's Day School dance is coming up. This is quite a complicated plot we're gonna do for a very short movie slash very long TV episode. So the Valentine's Day dance is coming up. And Doug and his best friend Skeeter are talking about it but on the hunt for the lake monster the Yeah.
Tyler 08:09
This thing starts with a cold open. Without Okay, actually really quick off right off the bat. If I could just say something. This movie in order to for those who haven't seen it, even though for those who have seen it to be fucking honest, this movie assumes that you have watched the show and love the show. And remember every character right off the bat, it's like you're supposed to know who these people are. They give you nothing. They just throw you into it. Which I like the old in
Misha 08:37
have a conversation. Not even like
Tyler 08:42
even like a classic in media rest. It's just like in media fucking trash, basically. Anyway, they're just
Misha 08:49
chatting and we get thrown into the middle of their conversation. Knowing that the Valentine's Day dance is coming up, and Doug is looking forward to it. Mosquito just wants to find this lake monster. I'm not really sure what Doug's motivation is for any of this. But he goes along with trying to find the lake Michael I know to impress patty.
Tyler 09:19
Oh yeah, he's a hardy Hardy boy.
Misha 09:21
He is a honey boy. It's disgusting. Oh, god, okay, we'll get to this one day dream sequence. Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Okay. So oh my god. I was like are there could be children begging just in the show. So anyway, they're looking for the lake monster. They find the lake mosquito finds a lake monster. Dog is trying to get Patty to go to the Valentine's Day dance with him maybe but does Isn't try very hard. Yeah, they go back to find the lake monster. They can't find it. But then it turns out the lake monster left the lake and went into mosquitos house.
Tyler 10:15
Just because they left their bikes so he wanted to return the bikes to them. Okay, he smelled. And he smelled scared he or she they smelled the scent of Skeeter and followed them.
Misha 10:27
That's quite a jump. A guess that it is made?
Tyler 10:32
That's no no they say that. They must be he must have smelled you. Doug says at 1.0 Okay.
Misha 10:37
Yeah, I didn't make that up. Okay. So the monster is in mosquitos house. They name him AB Herman Melville because the monster wanted to eat Moby Dick to book so they're just like, perfect. You must love Herman Melville. Yeah,
Tyler 10:59
it's like fucking if my parents named me pizza, it's like
Misha 11:08
as a kid, I didn't like pizza as much and I would always order like a pasta dish, or eggplant. Hiro. Like, I love the eggplant parm.
Tyler 11:19
Well, that's your sophistication shining through.
Misha 11:21
Thank you. Now I love pizza
Tyler 11:25
is the best. I just I can't remember the first time I ever ate a pizza. I wish I could remember that special day. But you know the old like big New York slice ninja turtle pizza.
Misha 11:34
We used to as kids, when we would get together with our cousins. Whenever we had a pizza. We did this thing where I was like, Oh, if you want to be a ninja turtle, you eat your pizza backwards like crust first. And then it's the same as when they throw it up in the air and then catch the pizza in their mouths. So like our version was eat crust first, and then a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Anyway. So back to this. They have to hide. Okay, Doug wants to tell the world advertise in the school newspaper, that they found the lake monster because he thinks it'll impress Patti. But so they go to the mayors and they want to tell the world so they go to the mayor's house. And she realizes that they can't just tell the world because the monster exists, either was created. It's like either a pollution deformity that created this monster or the monster left the lake because it's polluted. And the big polluter is Mr. Bluff of bluff Co. Who owns the town essentially. So bluffing tin is
Tyler 12:52
hence why the name was important. That's that's the reason. Yeah, it's not.
Misha 12:59
And so she says we can't just tell the newspaper because the newspaper is the bluffing to newspaper owned by bluff Gqo. And they'll suppress the news and then to the story and then they'll hurt Herman Melville. So she comes up with this idea that she'll just do a press conference. And they then have to hide Herman Melville until the next day, all these just have to wait like 12 hours. And then Doug realizes that he's late to meeting Patti at the ice cream shop, runs to go find her. She's not there goes to where the Valentine's Day dance is being set up. He goes to apologize to her while he's apologizing. The photo that Skeeter took of the monster falls out of Doug's pocket. The other co
Tyler 13:59
Dance Dance committee chair preparation head, his name I believe was guy, guy
Misha 14:06
for Yeti. If only DocuSign DocuSign sauce dance. And he works. He's the also the chair, the editor in chief. I don't know for the school newspaper and his friends with philosophy. Mr. Bluff, I guess. Yeah. And so we'll get to that. He realizes why.
Tyler 14:35
I had a massive question about that. Like, why is why is my friends with this, dad?
Misha 14:42
I don't know. So because he's an older student. He's like, eighth grader instead of a sixth grader. So yeah, so this is the
Tyler 14:50
richest most powerful to encounters just like the friending eighth graders and his daughter who's like a princess spoiled brat. says something like, oh, he know he knows my dad. I forget what it was but like, we know guy and it was like not like my dad does. She says just like what does that even? I don't understand is this 18 year olds or whatever?
Misha 15:13
Anyway, I don't think he's quite 18 I hope not because it's disgusting. It's crazy like it. Yeah. 18 year olds aren't eighth graders. Tyler,
Tyler 15:22
why is it or eighth graders whatever they are? Either way, it's like a game show host going after teenager
Misha 15:31
or a child? Yes, whatever it is, okay. So he realizes that they've discovered the monster and alert, Mr. Bluff. And Mr. Bluff basically has like SWAT Team Secret Agents, FBI, CIA level, people working for him, and they go and try to find the monster now. And then they can't find the monster. So what they do is sabotage the press conference and go and instead of actual press, attending the press conference, it's the CIA, FBI, whatever. These SWAT people are pretending to be them and really just trying to capture the monster. Yeah. So Doug, they're about to do the press conference and spill the beans. And then Doug realizes that is happening and hides the monster. It takes him away. And paddy gets mad at him for being a liar. This is to see the plot
Tyler 16:37
because he lies. Yeah, cuz he says he had said no, come to the press conference. You'll be impressed with my my ability to find a monster. And then he goes on in front of the podium or behind the podium and says like, we made it all up. So then Patty's mad at him. Yeah. And
Misha 16:55
she was mad at him already for standing her up. Yep. At the ice cream shop. Exactly. Then they tried to hide the monster again. Herman Melville. Somehow they see a guy fairies computer with a news article on there that says they killed the monster and they think oh my god, oh, he killed the monster because I don't even know what the monster is. At this point. I'm whatever. And so then they realize he pre wrote the article and that the monster was in the article. It says the monster is killed and tries to destroy the Valentine's Day dance. But the tines Day dance hasn't happened. It's that night, so they realize he is in on it trying to set up all this nonsense to capture the monster. So they go to the Valentine Oh, at some point, the FBI or whoever these people are the CIA. They capture the monster. I don't remember that part. And then
Tyler 17:56
they were they tried to bring the Herman Melville back home and do like a do a Harry and the Hendersons. Oh after lake with the bond. Do a Harry and the Hendersons were like you go shoo. We don't love you anymore. We don't want you. Yeah. And then and then they, they he gets captured. Yeah. So
Misha 18:15
they go to the dance to try to find Herman Melville. They find Herman Melville. they uncover the big plot, and they sneak Herman Melville off to the second lake that's not polluted Crystal Lake of that horror movie. Friday the 13th. That's is that the one where the boy drowns, and then comes back, and there's a whole bunch of these. Yeah, I get confused with the names because none of them are really like, his mom
Tyler 18:48
was the well, spoiler alert. His mom was the killer in the first one. I think. I said it was him. He shows up at the very end. Is the killer. Okay, yeah, I think we watch it together. Buddy.
Misha 19:08
Anyway, so they go to release him at the lake. And then Mr. Bluff is there because he's like, Oh, you're rooting Oh, sorry. I have to channel Texas right? I'm a regular Oh, good. And you're no candy monster my lake monster at the head of this town. And it sure is good to all land. And my daughter just told me so I can't be mean to you. Because my sweet baby is the best thing ever. And so I guess you're all free now. And then the mayor is also there and she's like Waggles her finger shame on you.
Tyler 19:51
Shame on you. But I have no power in this town. So just walk up
Misha 19:55
the lake and he's like, Oh, shocking. Dang darn miss. I will clean up the leg. How happily ever after. And then that's it. Yeah, Patti and don't dance together and then baby who has a crush I guess on makes him dance with her. See as
Tyler 20:13
she says dance me? Yes, actually. That part was good. Dieter valent. His last name was Valentine to which kept fucking me up skate around times dance me.
Misha 20:24
Valentine dance me at the Valentine Valentine Valentine's Day dance me?
Tyler 20:29
Yeah. Dance me Valentine at the Valentine? Dance me? Yeah. Valentine dance me. Boy. Okay, so sure. Okay. Yeah. Right
Misha 20:41
is like
Tyler 20:45
and then there's like the whole side quest of like Roger, who's the bully trying to like,
Misha 20:49
we'll get to that because okay. Okay, in this story, because, okay, I tried to make sense of all of this. I even prepped in my head and took notes on what I thought this is about. And I, I apologize to the listeners, because that doesn't make any sense. But I'm going to take back that apology. And you should be thanking me, because we watched it. And that is what happened. And you don't have to watch it. And it's what I just said. Yeah.
Tyler 21:25
If anything, actually, this is one of those moments where the summary was more coherence.
Misha 21:37
Usually, it's like cut out a lot, because I don't understand why. So yeah. I want to know, what, who, whoever wrote this. I want to know, I want to see their sort of timeline. Like, what they think this story is. Yeah. I'm really curious, because it was very confusing.
Tyler 22:02
Let's do some storyboards. Yeah, yeah. Because it's like, in some parts, it's like, a narrative it's narrated, but then it's other other parts. They just don't continue that. And then in other parts, they just fade to black and then fade back in like it were it was a commercial break. It's like, they start doing one thing, and they're like, this isn't really working. Let's cut here and just move on to something new. It's very, it's really disjointed. It's got a very, like, Saturday morning cartoon feel, but it's like 80 something minutes long, and it's just right. I think even kids would get bored with this garbage. I could be wrong. I don't know. I didn't get a time machine. But I mean, I don't know it's long. This is a long time to like, just sit and watch silliness. That doesn't really go anywhere. Yes, I don't know.
Misha 22:56
It's just like, there's no point to anything.
Tyler 23:02
Well, it's the old it's the tale as old as time almost. It's like a horny young boy. can't control his feelings. So he tries to do anything except what he needs to do, which is communicate and he tries a grand gesture of finding a monster instead of just asking the girl who likes to dance. I is relatable for like that. A teen a young teen. It's like we've talked about raging V. We talked about a Goofy Movie. Yeah, it's like, you don't really know. Although that we were mostly talking about just his constant lying and that but like, Yeah, same thing. Like, instead of, yeah, telling Roxanne was that her name? Roxanne, right? That he liked her. He just, like, tries to impress her by saying I'm gonna go to meet powerline or whatever. It's the same thing. Except, except in this case, we have no idea what's going on. They're just out there looking for a monster with no context. Right? You don't even say like, there's this myth. And we're gonna go try to see if it's true. They're just out there looking. And then yeah, things and then
Misha 24:03
to explain, like, I didn't understand why Doug was there. Other than you have to know that they're best friends. And that Doug would they're always together. Because it was like, Mosquito was like, Are you thinking about the Valentine's Day dance again? And he's like, Yeah, I am. And I'm like, okay.
Tyler 24:25
Yeah, it's it's literally like, they started the movie halfway through an episode, basically, right? It's just like, like, the episode would have given us the background of like, oh, mythical monster sighting and then let's go check it out. Well, but I was gonna go maybe see Patti at the ice cream shop. Well, you can see her later. Let's go and then like then the movie
Misha 24:46
and that's where she'll be really impressed if we catch this month. Like they didn't even say that. So I was just like, there. It's like they were having separate conversations together in one scene. Yeah, that's what it sounds Like for the majority of the movie? Yeah.
Tyler 25:03
And there are a bunch of well, let's just get into, well, I was going to bring up other things, but we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's jump into originality and get that out of the way. So this
Misha 25:14
is thinking one because it's episode of the TV show. It's just like, basically, yeah, they could have trimmed a lot out of it, and made it a two part episode. Yep.
Tyler 25:25
I was thinking exactly the same thing. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, big single one. It's not original at all. And let's, I mean, we're already talking about it. Let's go on to story. And do you want what I was gonna say?
Misha 25:39
Oh, yeah. As you say, Do you want to talk about Rogers side quest of yeah, let's, let's
Tyler 25:45
talk about the side quest. Yeah. So
Misha 25:49
yeah, they didn't have to include it, did they?
Tyler 25:51
Yeah, they didn't have to. The reason why they included it, I can only surmise is the whole thing is like, this is going to be a hit with people who liked the show. So we'll just put these characters in there. So the thing I was going to say was, there are a bunch of characters in there that you would recognize from the show like the guy who's got the weird, like hot dog lips and then like a weird penguin monocle eyeball. Like one of one of the That's the worst. One of Rogers minions. They're like the minions of Roger and then all the the quote unquote nerds who helped build that robot. All these characters are like not given names. They're just there and you're supposed to know who they are. The mayor's Hi Rogers the same. The mayor's husband. Yes, it was me there. who I think was a teacher at the school. If I remember Patty,
Misha 26:43
who's also a teacher at the school. I was really confused because I didn't realize that guy was a teacher. I thought he was an older student. And then she was like, coming Daddy and I was like, Why was she called a student daddy? Is that his name? And then I realized it was her actual father. Yeah, I thought she was just being creepy. Like they're all pervy, anyway, I thought she was like
Tyler 27:10
I gotta go to the dance, daddy. Yeah. And Roger says that like Roger is Roger is a major character in the show. He's the bully. So they're just like, let's get this bully in here. But he has nothing to do so let's invent him, like invent something for him to do which is like, he sees that he sees the Okay, so for me this movie. So there he had his cronies are out fishing when it's freezing cold because he wants to wait and see if losers will show up. So you can mess with them. I'm
Misha 27:43
fishing No.
Tyler 27:45
Fishing for losers get it? And I've got acne. Okay,
Misha 27:50
that's
27:51
that's what that's what his explanation was. Okay. Not actually fishing numb nuts.
Misha 27:57
These fish are for losers. She pulls in the water.
Tyler 28:00
I know. Yeah. And I would just rather go back and like sign Valentine's Day cards and drink hot chocolate and Roger would let them because he's one of those. Yeah, trolling bullies. So then anyway, so he The reason he just sorry, I'm losing my life. He gets he and his cronies. his minions go out in the woods to scare Skeeter Valentine. And Doug. With this made up like sort of Chinese New Year lion costume. And instead they see the real monster later called Herman Melville. So then, for the rest of the movie, Rogers, like, I gotta get this. Yeah, kill the monster for his own. So he's just got the Captain Ahab to the white whale.
Misha 28:52
The plot?
Tyler 28:54
That could have been the pocket of phenom because Roger is a horrible, horrible person and a horrible, shitty
Misha 28:59
rich kid, which I didn't know. I didn't remember any. I don't know just wasn't the show.
Tyler 29:06
I don't know either. Actually. It just shitty one note. Yeah, he's he's an architect. He's a good example of how archetypes don't always work whereas the wicked stepmother and her enter wicked step daughters or her daughters work really well. But Roger does not work these like high school or junior high bully or whatever. And, and with his Skeletor voice everyone had fucking Skeletor voices in this to everyone. Everyone had shrieking, shrill voices. And I don't mean sure like the word shrill is like often used in a sort of in a misogynistic way. I don't mean it that way. It's just like everyone is like this loud high pitch teen voice. Yeah, that's what I can make sense of. And then for the rest of it, Roger, they get this robot built to help Roger but instead it becomes like a nanny to him. I don't understand him the movie and that keeps happening. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. They're just throwing fucking spaghetti against the wall, hoping something turns into a movie. Yeah, it's so it's Doug. Doug is the main character. But in this one it's kind of Doug and Skeeter together maybe But Doug is like trying to impress Patti, but then like, by finding a monster and then they find the monster and then they have to et hide it and put it in women's clothes. And like yeah,
Misha 30:35
this stupid Yeah, so
Tyler 30:38
the the best part of the movie is when when the monster comes out of the women's robot is like chatting with all the girls students. Yeah. And they're like, see you later. Hermione or whatever her name was. She's like, and then the months ago. Yeah, that's it. That's it.
Misha 30:55
Just okay, like that as an episode, where it's just like we found this monster. Roger wants to kill it for glory, but we got to get it back to the lake. Just just do that. Yeah. Like they're at the lake today. We can't get it back to the lake. Because there's like a boating fair or I don't know what you would call it right? Like where everybody's out of the water. So it'd be too obvious we have to wait till tomorrow or tonight. Gotcha. Sure
Misha 31:30
also, a big fucking movie. It's like the polluted the pool. That bluff CO is polluting the water right? Yeah. So okay, this movie is either way too long or way too short. And I obviously leaning towards way too long just because it's way too
Tyler 31:50
long. Yeah. Like adding more minutes adding more minutes is not the solution.
Misha 31:53
What if they like get rid of some stuff? And then like add more exposition and like some beginning scenes to like set it up. Okay, it does Yeah, you're right there's just doesn't exist you're
Tyler 32:07
dangerously close to summarize her like explaining the plot of Erin Brockovich.
Misha 32:13
Okay, right, this
Tyler 32:14
polluted water is polluted. Trying to do something about the
Misha 32:18
lake and they're like, man, look at that pipe dumping waste and I'm like, Okay, you can just see it from the dark. Why does any of this movie need to exist when you They could just be like, Oh, here's the movie. A look. Bluff Ko is polluting let's go tell the mayor the end water quality testing Yeah, what is the monster have to do with it? Why does the monster exist? Why is the pollution The why is it part of this?
Tyler 32:51
I don't know. I'm leaning towards the monster was already there. And it's just walking around because the water is too acidic now. So it's like being noticed. Or whatever. I think probably it was already there. It's some weird right a coelacanth fucked a unicorn at some point and like made a big blue baby. I don't know. It's
Misha 33:13
I don't know what it is why it's there. What the pollution has to do with this thing? It's
Tyler 33:19
but yeah, you're totally right. The story would have been saved if one episode or the whole Roger hunts the monster and they tried to save it by eating the fuck out of it. The other episode is Yeah, Valentine's Day dance and Doug trying to handle his feelings for Patty Manet's.
Misha 33:35
I'm sure that exists as an episode ready.
Tyler 33:37
If vague memories it's like 85% of the show is is Doug fantasizing about petty mayonnaise and pretending to be quail man. Because quail man's a superhero and then or whatever other fantasies and dreams but it's a lot of horny dreaming, as far as I recall.
Misha 33:54
And yeah, mosquito even called him out on it. He's like, You got that look on your face like you're about you're masturbating. Patty, you
Tyler 34:01
have a massive voter duck. Like you've got that look at your face and you've got your tenting and your pants.
Misha 34:09
In your underwear that's on the outside.
Tyler 34:11
You put your under on the outside again and let's just say that your winters sticky through the weird pee hole. And those you're a quail man is showing.
Misha 34:24
Oh, maybe that's what that supposed because it's the thing on it's it's a whole time. It's just sticking up on the outside, you know, metaphor
Tyler 34:32
of phallus. Yeah, that's my Freud voice.
Misha 34:39
Oh, is that one all right, fellas.
Tyler 34:44
That's all I said. fuck boy. Anyway, moving on.
Misha 34:48
He would say yeah,
Tyler 34:50
he would say yes, please. Yeah. Although he did important work on trauma but anyway, I'm not a fan. So story. Do We dare give this anything above a one.
Misha 35:04
I don't even know. I don't know.
Tyler 35:07
Like, try to Okay, let's try to hear. Here's what we got to do. Okay, let's do it Freud didn't do and be like a real scientist about this. Let's, let's put ourselves in the shoes of somebody who really likes Doug and went to this movie after watching Doug would this movie make? Would it be enjoyable? Would it make sense? Or would it just be like, this is a long episode still? And would that be a good thing? I'm,
Misha 35:34
I'm really trying hard to think about that. I'm like, trying to be nice. Okay, if like, what is this about? I guess that's I still don't understand because it's like, there's Okay, is it? What is it about this? Herman Melville? Is it about Paddy and the Valentine Valentine's Day dance? I guess those are the two main things, missing anything.
Tyler 36:06
I think that's, it's like the, the writers and the producers. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, I
Misha 36:12
bet there were people who were fighting over which thing it would be. And then they were like, let's just do fires. And then go like this probably
Tyler 36:19
like, this show is all like the people if anybody involved in this was involved in the original show, they were probably like, this whole show is about Doug. Really having a crush on Paddy and not being able to deal with it all shows. Pretty much that's just me, like, it's just me hypothesizing and remembering from being an awkward person of that age. So it's like maybe somebody's like, well, this whole shows about that. And so that needs to be kind of the the locus of this movie and other people like, Yeah, but that's Lanesville so let's put a monster in it. I don't know. Yeah, maybe it's like a two headed monster to pardon the pun of of a writing team like working at loggerheads with each other. Or is this a bunch of people are like we have this will work kind of Disney has given us money and they want it to happen. So let's just come up with something. Day four of a like how are eight and coke binge? Let's just crank this baby out.
Misha 37:18
Did you know there was a live musical stage show? Five. I really wish I could go back in time. Like you and I currently could time travel and do a special bonus episode on that live show. That is what I wish I could How many
Tyler 37:37
wishes before that should happen like first wish obviously wish for more? First wish wish for more wishes. Second one. Still not the dog thing? But yeah, maybe like the eighth way or something? I do appreciate that. I'm up there like spending time with me is up there but yes, do get to world peace. Yeah. Dog right musical time travel. Oh, and while we're back there give them ideas about not doing cars go back to the go to the Pixar offers and say hey, listen, you're gonna you're gonna see this guy Larry, the Cable Guy and think that you got an idea. But you don't you don't have an idea. Do
Misha 38:17
we kill Larry the Cable Guy before the cars movies comes are in production.
Tyler 38:22
That's not how time travel works predicts it'll just create a this is the whole like, Avengers endgame thing. It'll create a different, different future.
Misha 38:32
That's okay. And then we belong to that future.
Tyler 38:37
Yeah, okay. There's no,
Misha 38:38
we'd have to come back to our own timeline.
Tyler 38:42
But here's the thing. No, because if you if you go back in time and say like, listen, you're like and we killed Larry the Cable Guy. In order for cars not to happen. Some. The universe is a is is not a fan of humans. I feel like it is a malevolent force. Sometimes it will find a worse thing than Larry, the cable guy to make them?
Misha 39:02
I don't think I don't think there is. That's that's
Tyler 39:08
just because we're limited by our human imaginations. But the universe's thoroughly indifferent to us.
Misha 39:15
Maybe we should talk to the Imagineers about it. Yeah, let's
Tyler 39:18
get on the phone here. Let me just call them really quick.
Misha 39:24
puppy puppy, puppy, puppy.
Tyler 39:26
That's weird. That's why I ran out of data. So it's not working. I'll call him back later. Like St data. I ran out of data on my phone. So
Misha 39:36
yeah, I'll just call that differently. column
Tyler 39:38
data. Data is a character data is a thing.
Misha 39:44
Data are things data
Tyler 39:46
are things Yeah.
Misha 39:48
Fuck yeah.
Tyler 39:49
You did it. You outdated plural. That is still used today, isn't it? Yeah. Fair. No. Hey, I did I pulled a few out. dated
Misha 40:00
- It is a mobile AP bought among scientists arguably it is yeah researchers argue arguably it's not well if you if you
Tyler 40:09
It depends on if you're using descriptive grammar or prescriptive and if you're using
Misha 40:14
fuck I'm never gonna win if you're gonna catch it we got to end the show right here.
Tyler 40:18
Well no, you're totally right that is still correct but it's like in the ivory tower of academia and on things on things like the LSAT, I need a nap anyway. No but we can cut that but back to what I was gonna say sick burn because I did make you angered I said fewer to correct you're less so I deserved that. I totally deserved that. Where are we? What are we story? This story is bad.
Misha 40:46
We're in the timeline where cars and we can't see the dog musical.
Tyler 40:53
This story is It's
Misha 40:56
garbage. It's getting really like don't understand it's just too much. I don't understand isn't
Tyler 41:03
Yeah, like Yeah, even if we're like being biased to like the big biggest fans of dog. You'd still have to probably admit that this is that a great story. It's it's it's a big blemish. It's just a big, big old Pimply blemish. blemish on top of a pimple.
Misha 41:21
One Oh, Tyler.
Tyler 41:26
There's the old ones that episode nausea folks are nausea kicking back in there. It
Misha 41:32
is our nausea and
Tyler 41:35
animation. Okay.
Misha 41:38
I
Tyler 41:40
do you have anything to say about this? I'll throw this over you. I've got some thoughts.
Misha 41:45
I said it was fine. Yeah. It's fine. Yeah. I thought the scenery. Yeah, opening shot was really nice. It reminded me of a nicely drawn children's book. Yeah.
Tyler 41:57
There were there are a couple there was that sort of establishing shot. And then there were a couple other ones that were nice. And, and the rest of it's fine. And yeah, I mean, it looks like a cartoon a Disney like Saturday morning cartoons like a Nickelodeon Nickelodeon rather not Disney. Yeah. So it looks, it's like, efficient. And like, it's okay. But it's like, it's it's the type of cartoon where like, it's, it's not movie quality. It's like, we have to make a bunch of these because we have an episode every week. So the characters look simple, but they're effective. Because they're, it's enough to know who's who and like, their personalities. The eyeballs are basically not there. There's barely any features to anybody, but it's fine is that we're just yeah, that's just dodge who's kind of unsettled. Just just triangles. And it's like fine for
Misha 42:55
but that's the style of like, Yeah,
Tyler 43:00
but it feels like it's just got to be a little bit better to get a good score. It's fine. And it's Yeah.
Misha 43:08
Yeah, so like, five, six. Good side of okay. It's like the bad side of fine. Just fine. Or the good side of I
Tyler 43:17
think just fine. It's not okay. It's not a six I think I will say one thing also though, this is not really necessarily its props for it. But apparently it is the the last. Where was the statistics? American?
Misha 43:33
Yeah, theatrical, animated release. To use traditional sales
Tyler 43:40
to use traditional sales. That's the thing. Yeah. The less American ones use traditional sales, which is I can't credit the movie for that. It's like, it's a cool fact. But it's just like kind of a Oh, trivia interest.
Misha 43:53
First of second thing,
Tyler 43:55
it says the reason to Yes, it's not a it's a going out of business sale. And that's not something to like, right. That's
Misha 44:06
going out of business sale.
Tyler 44:09
Boy, okay. Yeah, I think five I would not give it a six. That's too much.
Misha 44:13
Okay. All right. You can sound sorry. Okay. I have thoughts and opinions. All right. So for the whole movie, it was fine. Just fine. Then we get to the credits, and they put in two very weird choices. I thought the first song was weird. Then they get to the next one where children start singing. Yeah, it was unsettling. It was like they didn't fit what I'm where did those come from? It's like they made a long episode. And then they were doing the end credit scene and they were like, are the end credits and they're like Oh fuck, we forgot this was a movie. So just throw in some songs that are Yeah. Different. It's just, yeah, it's
Tyler 45:13
not. It's mind boggling. It's really mind boggling. It's like, it's, it's not just that they were, it's not like, there's
Misha 45:20
no opening song. There's no sense. It's just and then they just have these weird. So
Tyler 45:28
I think also I didn't really like the I mean, the music was fine. I just didn't really like the score. And I think this is maybe I don't remember if I want I thought about it. They were
Misha 45:39
running into town, town hall or some building and it was like kind of startling. The music choices that they picked, sometimes they were trying to heighten emotion and it didn't fit. It didn't work. Yeah.
Tyler 45:56
And then parts that were like, I was about to say emotionally ambiguous, but that's not the right word for it. It's like not like a tense, like they're trying to show tension, or they're trying to show comedy, anything in between, they would just put like the weird, sort of acapella sounding dog.
Misha 46:14
This whole movie was just bland. Yeah. And
Tyler 46:18
like all that. It's like just again, like just things like, Okay, this in this scene, we'll use this type of music because that's different. And then this one will use Yeah. And in one, when they first when they bring Herman Melville the monster back to the lake, and they start hearing noises. And then later, it turns out that Mr. Bluff and his Goon Squad have come to ambush them. But they hear this the score. And that part was the coolest, because it sounded like a weird, trippy song where it was like doing a tape loop in reverse for a second. So it was like a weird horror movie soundtrack for like 10 seconds. And I was like, Oh, that part's cool. I like that. But then it's gone. I
Misha 47:01
am glad you paid more attention to the music and sound because I was just trying to keep up with what the fuck was happening throughout.
Tyler 47:08
It was really hard.
Misha 47:09
I had Yeah, I had a really hard time paying attention to what I was hearing when I was just trying to figure out what was going on. Yeah.
Tyler 47:19
It's the only reason I remember that is because that stood out as like, oh, that's actually not bad. I like that. And then it was gone. And some new garbage came up and like, and then they can go into the dream
Misha 47:29
sequences were so long. Yeah. That I was getting lost to as to where we were in reality in their reality, where I'd be like, I don't remember what's happening now, outside of his mind. So just keeping up with that. I'm glad you paid more attention to the music, because when I did, I'd be like, this is fine. And then I'd get confused about what was going on and forget about the music. Yeah,
Tyler 47:55
it's, um, and then like, I mean, back to story really quickly, then they try to use the narration as a framing device. But it just makes everything more complicated, because now suddenly, he's talking to the audience. And we're like, Wait, why this wasn't here before? I don't know. I think it's, I think, if it's fine, it should be lower than five because of the end credit songs.
Misha 48:20
I think it should be a three three is totally fine for me.
Tyler 48:23
I was gonna say four, but I'm fine with going to a three. Yeah. Okay,
Misha 48:28
because it's like, overall, worse than the middle fine, right. It's like the low end of five, but then it should lose some points because there's like a cup. Yeah. All right. Just
Tyler 48:38
two weeks ago, we were talking about cocoa. Then we're back to this. Hey, you got to take I guess you got to take the valleys with the piece. Right. Okay,
Misha 48:52
we can't just walk up plateau for the restaurant. Plateau.
Tyler 48:57
Can't just be a plateau. Alright, protagonist,
Misha 49:01
Doug. I mean, yes. It's Doug's movie.
Tyler 49:08
Doug is in should have just called it Doug's movie. So, okay, so dogs. I mean, Doug's movie, Doug's, Doug's long show, dog show. And also Okay, yeah, well, we'll get into this in later up. We'll get into it later, but like, God, yeah, dogs. Why did they call dogs first movie? I'm losing my mind.
Misha 49:34
What do you what do you think about dog?
Tyler 49:36
I think Okay, so here. Here's what we said about the closest thing to dog which is max goof. We said that he is fine, but he's like, an annoying teen who is not, you know, not always likable in the moment, although he does learn and grow and eventually, the bonding between him Emmitt, his dad is good. But like for a lot of it, it's just him being a teen making bad teen choices that are relatable but still like bad choices. And we also said like, if someone doesn't talk to him and open up to him, he's going to turn into like Insell. Asshole in the future potentially writing Doug's on that same slippery slope if Doug doesn't learn how to deal with his feelings.
Misha 50:25
I think Doug is so much more bland. That's the thing. He's also not Yeah, there's there's like, not there aren't his plateau is way lower than max of course.
Tyler 50:38
Yeah. Max takes right or swing ready. Yeah. And,
Misha 50:43
and there's peaks though. He has like higher peaks and lower lows. But Well, the thing is, like, my average of Max is still higher than the average of
Tyler 50:52
course, yeah, I was just trying to make some sort of connection. So we had a frame to Yeah, Max is yeah, like, we both had problems with Max you more than me as far as I recall. But Max, like, Max is, Max is a three dimensional character. With like, with highs and lows. He goes like he, he's charming, even though he's annoying, right? He's, he does like this cool, crazy stunt to, like he does a stunt to impress Roxanne that like he follows through with the stunt instead of just being like, Oh, I wish she panty man is lying to me. I'm gonna be stuck in my imagination and, and wear my underwear, right? And like, go in the woods and
Misha 51:32
I doesn't do anything at the end. She's even gives him an opportunity to be like, Hey, I'm here. I like you. And he's just like, Oh, I'm a potato.
Tyler 51:43
Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Oh, I wish now okay, I should also say, I was like, Doug and like, I I can't I can't criticize Doug for like
Misha 51:54
not couldn't hide
Tyler 51:55
your bone. By voters. Those in those just always come in at the wrong times.
Misha 52:02
Oh, we're always coming at the wrong times.
Tyler 52:08
Gonna say Fuck, fuck yeah. Oh, yeah, I get it. I don't know. I'm on the fence. I don't want to be too harsh because it's like I do. He saw I can relate. But it's also just he's so boring. It's like boring. Like, if it were me, I would be like, yeah, like, what do I do to impress this girl I have a crush on ultimately, nothing. And she goes, goes to the homecoming dance with the popular kid or whatever. But
Misha 52:34
he doesn't like show any. Like his flaws are like, Well, I'm trying to help this monster. That's why I was late to meeting you for ice cream. And I'm sorry, and I apologize. It's just like, okay, get over yourself. Good. Ito's, like,
Tyler 52:51
actually, you just you just brought something up that I completely forgot about because this movie was a fucking mess. But the moral of the story is make the right choice kind of in in the end he does decide to do the right thing and help the monster for the sake of helping the monster because it's a friend rather than doing it to impress patty. And he does make that choice and in the end he gets his cake and eat it too because Patty likes him anyway, but or at least likes him enough to answer them. But do we give him any points for like, making that right choice? No, and not even a little bit not even like even
Misha 53:28
says the mayor told me to do it. In the narrow end, he says in the end, the mayor was right. She told us to just do the right thing. And then I did yeah.
Tyler 53:43
Yeah, but but he learns it himself. He learns that the hard way. Kind
Misha 53:48
of who cares? Who fucking cares? He's a bland I feel Yeah,
Tyler 53:52
I mean, just he is bland but I feel like we should give him like a point for that like a little bit of growth. Other than the quail in his pants growth.
Misha 54:03
Oh quail. like kind of like turkeys. Right? Do they? Yeah, I think so. Sure, well, call sound. Okay, so you want me to do it
Tyler 54:35
Okay, that sounds pretty bird like. Okay, so what do you are you thinking of one for dog?
Misha 54:42
No, I was thinking like a two or three.
Tyler 54:45
Okay. Yeah, I was thinking like, at least a little bit of points for like, yeah, something happens. Yeah, yeah.
Misha 54:52
Okay. Uh, too. Yeah,
Tyler 54:56
cuz Yeah, cuz I guess to be fair, my reason for wanting to Give him a little bit of points did not help Lightning McQueen in cars, so I guess Yeah.
Misha 55:05
Two is fine. side kicks, Skeeter. Oh, sorry. Yeah. You cut that out. I don't know what to say.
Tyler 55:16
Well, now I got I can cut it out. I gotta hear it. I
Misha 55:18
think I like lightning with Claymore the duck. Oh,
Tyler 55:22
yeah, me too. Like the queen is like, he's like, God got ones he's he Yeah, he's awful. But he like has Oh,
Misha 55:31
in the third one. He got four whopping points because he actually is better. Yeah, he
Tyler 55:35
goes through growth in the end. It just takes more movies and big for. For car. Yeah, he gets some but also Yeah, like that's the thing. If we went back in time and said, Don't do this, don't make this choice. They'd be like, well, how much money does it make? It can't be that big of a failure. And then we have to tell them and they're like, oh, yeah, we're doing this. Because they made a fuckload of money. Yeah. Yeah. side kicks. Skeeter Valentine. Mosquito Skeeter Valentine. Just as boring as Doug I think I don't see Yeah. You're the same. Yeah. And Skeeter was actually kind of I could be wrong because I haven't seen him forever. But I remember Skeeter being like, like a cool best but like not cool in the sense like he was a popular kid at school but like, until best friends. Like
Misha 56:23
fun and quirky and good. Yeah, but this was just flat nothing.
Tyler 56:29
All the personality of all the patty Manny's also was a great character in the in the show. I remember she, like had a great personality and just all of that's bleached out to make her this love interest that is going after a guy named Guy.
Misha 56:44
Donkey side kicks.
Tyler 56:46
And his donkey sauce his donkey Dawn covered a dog. He's sorry, he's at eighth grade shouldn't have said that. Sidekick. Oh, not like he does. I still don't know what that fucking means. You don't know. I'm like my dad does. Oh, yeah. No, like he does. It's like what?
Misha 57:08
Two? Maybe they're banging. Yeah, maybe but
Tyler 57:11
eighth grader, potentially like ninth grader at most. Or
Misha 57:15
maybe he's maybe he is a 12th grader and he's 18
Tyler 57:20
Yeah, I feel like that's still problematic, though. Right?
Misha 57:23
And then he's trying to get paddy to be his beard.
Tyler 57:26
I mean, that doesn't make a lot more sense. How old are these? And
Misha 57:32
Blasco? Where's BB? BB does BB. She besides me
Tyler 57:39
She died when she was going to reveal the secret of the poisoned Lake and say I'm leaving you Bill. What are you talking about making up a story to explain why the moms out there
Tyler 57:58
I should have prefaced that. Yeah, sorry.
Misha 58:01
So Mr. Bluff is a wealthy man who is really into guy fairies donkey Dong, and donkey sauce. And that is how they know each other. And he was a respectable man who waited till donkey dunk. Turned 18 I mean, guy. Yeah. And now they know each other. And Baby is like, oh, yeah, guys, basically my stepdad. Yeah, it is. They don't.
Tyler 58:35
They don't explain do they say high school at any point? Is this does it say bluffing in school or bluffing in high school?
Misha 58:41
I don't know.
Tyler 58:44
Okay, this I can't dig into this. Doug is a 12 year old boy.
Misha 58:52
So that's Middle School. Yeah. Doug is.
Tyler 58:57
So if Doug is 12 And guys and upper, like upperclassmen, so that makes him maybe what 13 or 14. So this is yeah, like, like, you
Misha 59:07
know, upperclassmen could be like, Hey, Santa. My school was like that. Junior High in high school or middle school and high school. We're in the same building. And like, and Fratton
Tyler 59:18
Park fraternizing with each other. No,
Misha 59:22
never the same cafeteria we had this shared a shared library shared computer room shared gym, so it's like we would run into each other. And maybe no, we'd probably separate like newspapers so if I don't remember saying
Tyler 59:37
yeah, that's the thing like if guy is that old, why is he and then that's opening up another thing like why is he pervert on patty? But only perving on her to be controlling to like when like Kizzy sees the duck legs or so then he like makes it a contest. He doesn't actually seem like attracted to Patty he just wants Oh, according
Misha 59:59
to To dominator.fandom.com We don't know who guys parents are, but he thinks of Mr. Bluff as the daddy. I mean, it says father figure, but I changed it. Right.
Tyler 1:00:11
Okay. All right. Well, we're, we're doing what we do. We're Oh, he's
Misha 1:00:15
in eighth grade.
Tyler 1:00:17
Okay, so yeah. So back to your I know that. I think you're, you're the one who said eighth grade in the beginning of
Misha 1:00:22
eighth grade at first, but then I just changed this to be like, why would they have? Like, I thought they
Tyler 1:00:27
were in high school. But then you you said eighth grade. I was like, Oh, that makes sense that they're like in. That's
Misha 1:00:33
what I thought, right? Yeah. But that confused? Because why would he be friends with?
Tyler 1:00:38
Well, that was my question. Why is he friends with
Misha 1:00:42
this answer, but it doesn't work because it doesn't work. Because he's not 18
Tyler 1:00:46
You can't be low leading this kid named Guy. Unless
Misha 1:00:50
he got left back a lot. And he is like, 20 years, a 20 year old eighth grader.
Tyler 1:00:55
It is possible. He does dress like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. So maybe he's like, I kind of don't Maybe it's like a Tom Hanks big situation. But the problem was big was he was a kid in a man's body and that lady definitely
Misha 1:01:07
dealt with this illegal stuff. Yeah. Well, she didn't know.
Tyler 1:01:10
Yeah. But the movie doesn't really do her that doesn't help her out. Basically, at the end, she sees him transform and she's just like, Oh, all right. Okay, so Okay, another problem with and maybe this should affect the psychic thing is, Skeeter was a good sidekick in the show. Also, porkchop was a massive sidekick that the dog and pork chops barely in it. So I feel like that was a missed opportunity. It doesn't need to affect the score because it just he turned out to not really be a sidekick, but it's a
Misha 1:01:40
right. Yeah, this is a shame.
Tyler 1:01:45
He's a poor chap was a cool dog. He's like the, in the imagination. Like in quail, man. There's quail dog to like pork chop is like a main character, but I think Skeeter needs to be as bad as Doug like I don't see a three. Skeeter here. And also just need your parents with you. skeeto That's unfair. This my son vampire lord sucker Johnson. Oh, this is my daughter tick. Like fuck you. Why don't you name your kid mosquito eat an ass eat a whole goddamn ass
Tyler 1:02:25
Villa villain. The villain is Bill bluff who's like fuck fucking eighth graders barely wanting to barely
Misha 1:02:34
in it. Barely it it immediately at the end is like, Oh, yeah. Oh.
Tyler 1:02:42
Yeah. Okay, he both looks like and sounds like the sleaziest Bill Clinton cartoon you can imagine. So that one will close. Arkansas has got a big E on it. Shout out to Arkansas. I guess
Misha 1:03:05
why do we do? villain for release? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Tyler 1:03:14
If it were the show, it would probably be Roger.
Misha 1:03:19
Right, Roger is going to be the villain like the you know, classic High School. I mean, middle school like bully bad guy, and then he's not in it. And then it turns out to be Yeah, buff towns buff man. Buff town. Yeah. Bluff. Bluff. His name's bluff.
Tyler 1:03:38
His name's Bill bluff. Yeah. Bluff like this. Rich liar. I think you were okay. Just this last time.
Misha 1:03:47
Okay. henchmen.
Tyler 1:03:49
And all these characters have names chalky, Connie. We didn't hear any of these fucking names. Alan, mu, Alan, mu. L and mu. You remember there were two twins like the two twins who made the robot?
Misha 1:04:04
Yeah. Why are there and mu? Again,
Tyler 1:04:09
every parent, every parent in this universe hates their children. I mean, Doug is a normal name. That's a normal name, I suppose. Oh, my God, their last name is
Misha 1:04:19
sleet.
Tyler 1:04:22
Switch. Now switch. Switch.
Misha 1:04:25
Their full names are Albert and moose. Why would they name them? Moose? I don't know. hoping he'll live up to something. All right. Who is a henchman?
Tyler 1:04:38
All these sort of the Goon Squad like the FBI, NSA and CIA stupid
Misha 1:04:42
one,
Tyler 1:04:43
I don't think and one. Like it's the only thing that the only thing I can say good about them is there's one scene when all the goons are in the rich man's office. And one of them just starts messing with the ships. Oh yeah. Steering wheel. And the moon. Yeah, yeah. out moves and then one guy that goes What do you do it? What do you do it? That's good I like that part one yeah okay strong female lead 110
Misha 1:05:11
Actually What do you say the mayor is a lady
Tyler 1:05:14
oh okay actually you know what I would I tell
Misha 1:05:17
the moral of the story tells the kids what to do figures out how to what tells them that they need to keep Herman Melville safe safe I think she should get some points or point
Tyler 1:05:28
me to yeah so she yeah I wrote Mayor talking some fucking sense and all these idiots fine but the problem okay so I want to agree with you but here's my counter devil's advocate offer oh god she herself admits she has no power in this town bluff runs everything to the point where she's like, don't tell anyone about Herman because if you say anything, Herman's a goner because bluff co runs ever the real villain is so she is the mayor elected but she has no but she is like the whole reason why but she but does she have any real power like like Princess atta and the Queen and
Misha 1:06:07
press condiment? I'm
Tyler 1:06:07
willing to give her a little bit of points. It's just you know,
Misha 1:06:09
I can and I have? Why haven't you thrown one for this show? My imagination? Oh, I think we should give it to because she's the mayor of the town.
1:06:19
I'm fine with that. Yeah. Finally, and because she tells
Misha 1:06:22
Doug and Doug and the other one what to do. Mosquitoes
Tyler 1:06:28
she Yeah. Yeah, she's the moral compass of this awful place. Yeah. And her husband spends way too much money on VR sets that are going to be obsolete in like a month. So you got to we got to like feel forward to.
Misha 1:06:41
And voicemail. He's like, check out our very expensive voicemail. Yeah, voice messages. I got news for you. Yeah, it was a waste of money. All right.
Tyler 1:06:55
bipoc representation slash portrayal. Now, this is a universe where there are cartoon people of different colors. But I don't think we can really give that points. That's not it doesn't count. Blueskin Skeeter is not like it's for anything. It's just Skeeter as a blue skinned person. So it's not like representation at all right? And Roger Rogers skin is like the color of like, Baby puke. grows, like a booger covered and baby puke. And the whole voiceover cast is like white bread. Yeah, all white. Yep. I get a one. Oh, man is just a bunch of mayonnaise everywhere.
Misha 1:07:38
Patti mayonnaise all
Tyler 1:07:39
over the sea, man. Is it awesome mayonnaise. I feel I feel bad because Patty, like Patty was. Penny was a cool character. I'm pretty sure I probably had a crush on her too. She's like, awesome, but unfortunately, she's like, you know, she's she's like Alex Mack. She's like resourceful, smart. But unfortunately, the show's not about her because they don't remember, Doug.
Misha 1:08:02
Right. Now,
Tyler 1:08:06
let's make this thing all about Patti Manica pettiskirt. She's smart. She's got good ideas. She's probably if they hold made this whole thing about her turning this shitty dance into something special that people remember that would have been much better than this. It would have been a TV show. Not a movie, but
Misha 1:08:21
where guy fairy and bluffed tried to buy the dance and put on this expensive thing. And Patty was like, No, I want this to be about the students not about just spending money and making this a rich person's thing. There's a movie. Yeah.
Tyler 1:08:34
But come on, toots. We're having it at a funky town. And she's and then yeah, and then she says no. And I haven't had a place called funky town or 12 years old. Fuck.
Misha 1:08:43
This is like chicken litter. They have like too many ideas just crammed into one thing and it just doesn't work. And it's like, you could have just had it about a long movie about Doug and Patti and the Valentine's Day dance and not do the monster thing. You could have just the monster thing and not do it about the relationship between Doug and Patty Right. Like that's the same as chicken Liddell.
Tyler 1:09:07
Yeah, you're totally right. totally right. Now that patties come up, should we talk about that horny dream? Yes.
Misha 1:09:14
That was cool. Rabee they are children. Pretty crazy. So Doug has some Daydream where he envisions which doesn't even come up that he's going to be the co planner of the Valentine's Day dance with Patti and he imagines that they're in a war time room like war planning room with like, you know, the little sticks and the figurines on a map and they're both carrying like army color Michael clothing and and she's wearing like got the seal at army. For marks with the seals. So, so he they're like planning it and she's She is there an extra table so you just see the for the waist up and then she climbs onto the table with a short skirt and woman style crawling towards Doug talking about love. And it's not like the love that you feel when you are you care about someone it is horny love and he starts sweating and she's like, Right cat woman towards it. Like they're gonna fuck on the table. Yeah.
Tyler 1:10:37
Yeah, if her eyes weren't if this if this wasn't so like basically drawn in her eyes were just like two black circles she would have been giving the in Disney parlance the Nala do me is that analogous Simba? Yeah, it was a horrible scene. And he's like, righto pretending to be like a British like, ready ready for my rogering?
Misha 1:10:59
Yes. It was so weird because it's his treat like he is currently making it up. Right? Yeah, he is deciding what happens in that. So why is he's not? Yeah. Is he nervous in it? And why is he doing that? If he doesn't want her to? Well,
Tyler 1:11:27
his his mind is ahead of him. And he's like
Misha 1:11:32
his winter is ahead of him.
Tyler 1:11:34
Yeah, exactly. So he's thinking is this winter so his his fantasy is presenting things in front of him that he's not ready to deal with so we're gonna throw up that you he's standing next to his friend Skeeter on the side of the road, probably. Yeah, I mean, he's, he's bouldering. He's probably craving his fucking white whitey tighties tighty whities on the side of the street. That's why skaters like you've got that look again, like you need to change your underwear, Doug. Yeah. I mean, it's like, part of me is like, I look at this as an adult and like, yeah, that's weird, because this is like a kid's movie. And it's like, it's not even suggestive. It's just kind of there. And I'm like, this is weird for a kid's movie. Right? That's
Misha 1:12:19
the thing. She's like, full on the table skirt rising like crud like, yeah, it wasn't suggested. Is there gonna bang on the table?
Tyler 1:12:31
Okay, so fun factor. Oh, boy. So this movie. It's a one it's not fun at all. Like it's not even like any
Misha 1:12:44
time did you pause it at all 20 minutes and I got up. It's almost over right and ice pause it to walk away and it was 20 minutes in. Or 90 I
Tyler 1:12:54
will be completely honest. It's just I I like skipped five seconds at a couple times. Tyler
Misha 1:13:00
I hate you. I hate you. I was watching on you watched less of this than I did. And I don't like that. against the rules. However, sometimes you watch movies twice, but that's your own choice.
Tyler 1:13:14
Yeah. However, I will say I did that a couple times. And then I was like, I I went back because I didn't understand it. And then I would skip
Misha 1:13:23
it didn't help me at all going back in time to rewatch things doesn't help no
Tyler 1:13:27
numbers so so in general the moral of the story is don't skip it. Well to watch this movie, but also I was also watching it on YouTube with a in the quality was really shitty because I couldn't find like a legit copy. So because I forgot that Amazon Prime is a thing. So I was watching with the with bad sound a small sort of have you ever watched like a movie on YouTube? Where it's like clearly not supposed to be there so they put it they mess with it? It's not like a YouTube video. It's like a video within a like in a TV. In a weird still. That's what it was. So I was watching like a quarter size of my laptop screen. Oh, yeah, it's it was not fun. It was not fun. I got up i i watched like 15 minutes. I watched the cold open like we're just it started with like, in the middle of a fucking episode and then the whole monster thing. I was like, All right, I just gotta I gotta go. I stopped a
Misha 1:14:21
few times. It felt it was only what an hour 19 minutes on and it felt very long. Yeah, it's
Tyler 1:14:27
like this was longer than Cinderella. It was like, longer than it really needed to be. I didn't
Misha 1:14:34
need to be. They shouldn't have made it. Well, that's the thing, or they should have like, yeah, they just shouldn't have made
Tyler 1:14:40
I want to go back and why. What am I fucking talking about? I don't want to do this, but I'm curious what the Rugrats Movie was like, because I also remember liking regrets and they made a movie that and that was successful. That was the reason they made this. And this movie didn't make a lot of money, but it was because they had planned it as a director video first and then they made it a cinema I
Misha 1:15:00
made money only because it was so cheap to make in the first place. So
Tyler 1:15:04
I'm wondering like what the incent I mean, I guess the the incentive was we'll make a director video and that makes sense but then because of regrets they made it into cinema movie and I'm just wondering like how good was regrets like I guess it wasn't good but it was successful and that's just sometimes like why did they make cars two cars cars one was successful sometimes you have to deal with the world the shitty capitalistic world that we live in
1:15:28
yeah
Misha 1:15:32
anyway a one for fun
Tyler 1:15:34
one no fun to be had here yeah
Misha 1:15:36
doesn't sit right although although the Herman Melville as an ET drag that I mean it's not really drag because we don't know what he or she are they are disguised
Tyler 1:15:52
as a just in a cost. I was funny especially because he he or she or whatever, just have like four big teeth. I thought that was funny. But like,
Misha 1:16:01
I don't think it helps with the points that
Tyler 1:16:03
oh, yeah, and they didn't do that
Misha 1:16:05
should have just been an episode where they find a monster. They bring it to school.
Tyler 1:16:12
And hermit hermit is like the most likable character because it's like a kind of kind of okay, looking not out I'm not even cute because they didn't even try to make it cute but okay looking like Monster from the woods who just like wants to have its home back and like so it's most sympathetic character and yeah, so unfortunately Herman Melville also just a poor writer Herman Melville for getting dragged into this okay, doesn't sit right. I don't really
Misha 1:16:48
think it speaking. I mean, yeah, of speaking of Herman Melville. He is buried at a local cemetery here in Boca del brah. Will
Tyler 1:17:00
Oh, did we go? We went to that one. Right. Is that where Miles Davis is too, though? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Honey,
Misha 1:17:07
your friend, our friend, man. Shout out. Manny. The coolest overnight security guard at any cemetery anywhere.
Tyler 1:17:17
Yeah, that's right. That was there. I remember the Miles Davis one for sure. So we don't need to keep it in and guess but was that Woodlawn? Was
Misha 1:17:23
that what it was called? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, you can say it's one line on the show. There was some famous cemetery before
Tyler 1:17:29
I mean, if I say Miles Davis, if I say Miles Davis is great. People are gonna just Google nerds out there. Oval mer bear buried. Yeah, I was gonna say something nerds will know there was buried in the cemetery. Miles Davis is great. For it happened there's some really beautiful grays in there too.
Misha 1:17:55
Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful, fun. Interesting place. And sad. So Rabee
Tyler 1:18:01
Yeah, it is a bit creepy. Yeah, that would be a cool place to have like sort of a Halloween, like haunted Trick or treat.
Misha 1:18:09
They do try to like activities and things there. They have like silent disco. Have you ever heard of that? Where everybody wears headphones dance to the same music? So what do you just show up without headphones? You just see every dancing to nothing.
Tyler 1:18:25
I was wondering. Okay, so this is a important point. Is it offensive to have a haunted hayride through a cemetery? No,
Misha 1:18:35
I've been on tours and like ghost tours through cemeteries and shit like that. They always do stuff.
Tyler 1:18:40
Okay. I just wasn't sure if it was offensive to like the family of Miles Davis or something. Oh, typically
Misha 1:18:47
miles. But no one else. Like, if, like if it's publicly known that miles, just that's really anti hay rides. Not the haunting part just well, it's just a hay ride. Well,
Tyler 1:18:59
no, it's just because like, it's people like, okay, there's a song yet. That is good. It's called. It's called. Pitching brew. He's bitching about everything?
Misha 1:19:18
Boy, no, I
Tyler 1:19:19
just mean like, what if you're like, ooh, haunted hayride? Sounds like no, that's my grandpa and like,
Misha 1:19:24
yeah, grandpa's a ghost. Maybe?
Tyler 1:19:27
Yeah. Okay.
Misha 1:19:28
Did you grandpa a reason to be a ghost?
Tyler 1:19:31
Yeah. Where's his picture on your ofrenda anyway? Oh, I just want to watch Coco again. Okay, so do we give this any doesn't sit right points for the bad guy probably wanting to lick a teen wiener?
Misha 1:19:48
Yes. That's not actually part of the thing. But there is a point where the dog is like barking at Herman Melville and then they meet each other and Herman Melville gives the dog a little heart that he made, or she made, and they like love each other. And the dogs licking Herman Melville, and Doug goes, Oh, I wish it was back to her like it like yaki because they're both boys. I don't really know. And I was like, he was like I wish it was not like this. I wish he was I prefer it if he were barking
Tyler 1:20:25
right so I totally that I don't even remember that part. Yeah, that's like the thing with Gus Gus and and Jack and Cinderella was like yeah, neat. Except back then there was like I thought it was cute
Misha 1:20:36
like all they love each other. Yeah, you're fucking not Yeah, human. It doesn't matter. Okay,
Tyler 1:20:42
then in fleet Crusher. I would say give some dozen super points because we did Cinderella for the same reason giving
Misha 1:20:48
a negative one for that. Yeah, yeah.
Tyler 1:20:53
effervescence 00 my
Misha 1:20:56
god no, none absolutely nothing.
Tyler 1:20:58
Okay.
Misha 1:21:00
Oh boy.
Tyler 1:21:01
So let's see the total actually any. Okay, nevermind. It came through. All right, I already saw it. Sorry. I was gonna predict if it was like second or third word because it looked really low.
Misha 1:21:12
I actually thought it would be worse. I thought it would be closer to Christmas carol but then I remember we gave negative 10 points to
Tyler 1:21:22
Yeah, we were really harsh so gross. We have we've we've we've mellowed out in our old age now. I think we were pretty harsh we have we have a boy. So gang total score is 19 out of 110 so that puts it in it's real love third place at the bottom I should clarify third to last.
Misha 1:21:48
Wait what's worse? Oh yeah, so
Tyler 1:21:50
Chicken Little is second worst Christmas Carol?
Misha 1:21:54
I think that's fair.
Tyler 1:21:55
This makes sense. I think this makes sense is more this is actually somehow more boring than Chicken Little but Chicken Littles more offensive. Like offensive to the eyes. I think then this
Misha 1:22:07
littles really Yeah, well, that's why a Christmas carol lost a lot of points because it's disgusting. Yeah. And Chicken Little was disgusting.
1:22:18
Stand on the corner. Cream and my shorts. My name is Doug. That's
Misha 1:22:23
a Is that what you think that song deep deep water is?
Tyler 1:22:27
That's what it is deep, deep water. I'm in just swimming in tapioca pudding.
Misha 1:22:31
And then it says standing up. Yep. Like a boner for myself.
Tyler 1:22:36
All right. With that? Gang.
Misha 1:22:43
Okay, I thank you to our listeners for listening. I'm glad you don't have to watch all of the movies that we watch. But thanks for being fans of the show. Thanks for coming back week after week. As much as I hum and haw and Harrumph about this. I love doing this. Yeah.
Tyler 1:23:00
Thank you so much everybody it is it's great to know that some some people out there my dream come true.
Misha 1:23:08
Sorry, I guess it's not because I realized we're coming
Tyler 1:23:11
up next we're gonna watch the movie wet dreams may come starring Robbie Williams.
Tyler 1:23:22
Boy, so yeah, thanks everybody so much for sticking with us through thick and thin.
Misha 1:23:31
You stop
Tyler 1:23:33
your highs and lows. There are ups and downs. Okay. And if you want to get in touch with us, well, first off, please Like Like, subscribe, follow whatever rate, the podcast. Spotify just added like a rating thing. I think for podcasts, you can do that there if you haven't done it before. And of course, there's other vehicles as well that you could maybe leave a review that'd be great. And you can get in touch with us at our email address [email protected] If you so are so inclined. Or
Misha 1:24:07
hit us up on Twitter and Instagram @muchabupod. And
Tyler 1:24:11
until next time when we watch DuckTales colon treasure of the last Lamb duck tells the movie colon try this is a Yep. This is like what was that movie in the 90s that had a really long too long food. Thanks for all the memories.
Misha 1:24:28
Thanks for everything, Julie. Yeah, nope. Thanks for everything very
Tyler 1:24:31
long name to want food. Thanks
Misha 1:24:33
for everything. Julie Newmar what's prom? Everybody knows.
Tyler 1:24:36
It's just kind of a long name. DuckTales the movie Colin treasured last night. By the way. That movie was awesome. As far as I remember.
Misha 1:24:44
I liked this movie. I mean, I did as a kid and I remember liking it. I'm excited to
Tyler 1:24:49
start about to Wong foo I don't remember DuckTales the movie. I was just I just remember like Patrick Swayze just giving like 150% but in DuckTales the movie Scrooge gives 150% So, actually, I don't have seen this movie.
Misha 1:25:05
That's a shame. It's good. Maybe
Tyler 1:25:06
I have we'll see. Okay. Bye everybody.