Please excuse the grammatical errors, any other errors you come across, and the general sloppiness of this transcription of Much Abu About Nothing's podcast episode on Cars 2! Our episodes are transcribed by a robot.
Tyler 00:00
content warning. Although this is a podcast about kids movies, this podcast isn't for kids and may contain content some people find offensive.
Misha 00:27
Welcome to Much Abu About Nothing a podcast where we review and rate animated Disney films going in alphabetical order using a scoring system, putting them head to head following a rigorous scale based on absolutely nothing. I'm one of your hosts Misha,
Tyler 00:46
and I'm another one of your hosts, Tyler. And this week, we are still stuck in the morass, the swamp of sadness that is the car's trilogy. Cars 2. So
Misha 00:57
yeah. So before we both watched the movie, we said, well, good, we got all of the world building out of the way. So we don't have to do that again. Watch the movie. And I went, oh, boy, I got a big questions for you, Tyler because what is this world? Yeah. More. There are more things to figure out.
Tyler 01:21
This is. I mean, we covered Yeah, we for for those who didn't listen to the last episode, please do because we covered a lot of like the fucked up nature of this university
Misha 01:32
Big questions. There are some little questions this time but if you really want to know what this world is about, listen to the cars episode
Tyler 01:41
that we did. So we'll try not to read Yeah, we'll try it. Yeah, don't maybe don't watch the movie. But we'll try not to rehash anything we already talked about but long story short. This is a world that basically looks like ours. But is all cars no people that to be seen. I
Misha 01:55
so listen to the last episode because I think I do a pretty good job. I do. Explaining it's the future where we are all dead. Yeah, yeah. And all animals.
Tyler 02:05
But it also doesn't make sense because and this pops up in this one too. There are references to things that like, I'll just jump into it brown fits, okay. Like they mentioned like women, mothers sisters, do these cars have sex and procreate? Like what the fuck is going?
Misha 02:21
Yeah. He's like, your mother looks like your sister. And I'm like, I don't know what that means. Oh, my God. I don't know what that means. Another thing
Tyler 02:31
I did, I
Misha 02:32
smooch. We watched lip on lip. roaches. Oh, yeah, that's
Tyler 02:37
also cars. Cars have lips. They have lips. They have teeth. They have gross fucking camel tongues. And yeah, this Okay, God, let's okay. Yeah, let's get into it ready to hear what this movie is about? I'm not I don't know about all the listeners. But I mean, yeah, I watched this thing and actually didn't want. This one didn't. I mean, this was a fucking awful movie. But this didn't hurt me as much as the first one because it was like, all the all the pain is done. So this was like, this is such a fucking bad movie that it's like I
Misha 03:12
liked it better than I did. Because it's so stupid. Like, it's like, we're the victims of Stockholm Syndrome. Where we are a read. We're captive. Yeah, we have no choice. We're stuck. All right, if I have to do this, I mean, I didn't enjoy it, but I wasn't as horrified.
Tyler 03:35
I also think I I did a little bit better with this one because I took your advice to like take breaks. So like I watched the first I made it through like the first 12 minutes last night and then I had to stop because there's just too much fucking major.
Misha 03:48
Yes. This is a major movie. Yeah. I drink some wine. Then before I watched the movie, then I was like, Oh, I'm gonna watch this movie. Oh, me. And then I took only half a
Tyler 04:04
gummy. Huh? Oh, yeah. As promised, was
Misha 04:08
yes. was sitting upright with my notebook, taking notes and then just passed out sitting up. Could not. And I know the one contributed to that. But I mean, my pen in hand notebook sitting upright. That's ridiculous. It was a boring.
Tyler 04:26
Yeah. I mean, I was fully awake, watching the rest of it. And I was like, at a certain point, I just sat back and was like, I, I turned my brain off. Like,
Misha 04:36
then I had to watch the rest of it sober this morning. It was like a moment of that idea.
Tyler 04:41
It was the most Buddhist moment of mindfulness I've ever had. I was like, totally in the moment and shut my brain off. And then I was like, Okay, this is like, not so bad now anymore.
Misha 04:51
Like the folks if you decide to watch these movies, there are lots of different ways to make it through. You can go into a tranquil space. You can walk away multiple times. You can get drunk you can get high you can shut your brain off all kinds of ways and survive. So there is our glowing recommendation for cars one and cars two. Yeah,
Tyler 05:16
for those that for those out there anybody who is like watching the movies as you listen to these episodes, thanks for listening by the way, but don't hurt yourself like Sorry. When
Misha 05:29
not to watch
Tyler 05:29
we try. We try to warn you Yeah. Well, let's get into it. What is this movie about?
Misha 05:35
So this movie is about starts with my car Kane. It's a spy car. Of course Michael car spy which new to the universe. And he is trying to uncover that
Tyler 05:59
he's doing something. I think he infiltrates this like oil rig in the middle of nowhere and like finds Oh, yeah, I'm doing something and he finds his like his contact or whatever. Like crushed into a into a bad. Yeah, yeah,
Misha 06:15
I didn't even I was like he's upset about a cube of red. Yeah. And it was his
Tyler 06:21
contact. Yeah. So anyway,
Misha 06:23
he gets upset. And they try to kill him and he gets away with you think he's dead? Then cut to do usual gang.
Tyler 06:40
Lighting like radiators? Yeah, the Radiator Springs crew.
Misha 06:44
And there's this Italian race car on the news who's taunting McQueen and tries to take and then wants him to race in the World Grand Prix in Tokyo, so they go and then at the race in Tokyo, the spies my car cane and his associate avian bone syndrome. Can't remember the actresses name Emily Mortimer. Lm M, Emily's normal name. And they're, they are there to find another spy friend of theirs. But they don't know what their spy friend looks
Tyler 07:35
like. Yeah, they just know it's an American contact. That's that's what they know. Yeah, so
Misha 07:39
the American contact is in the bathroom, which we'll get to
Tyler 07:42
bathroom. Played by Bruce Campbell.
Misha 07:46
Okay, so in the bathroom, this spy takes off his locator thing and sticks it up the butt of Mater. Yeah. Up the butt jokes.
Tyler 08:02
Yeah, gross. butt up the butt jokes are like rectal exam type jokes. Yeah, but also isn't the butt of a car like the exhaust pipe?
Misha 08:12
I don't know. I don't know how they did it doesn't matter so then my car Kane and Emily Mortimer cars think that Mater is what
Tyler 08:25
can we really quick say what her car name is Holly shift. Well, what's her name so stupid it's like a tongue in cheek like John Lasseter making because he clearly like as we know from the last episode, half of his blood runs oil motor oil or whatever so I think he's also got a raging like boner for Bond movies or whatever in chauvinism. So yeah, we find out later when he gets massively cancelled. Yeah.
Misha 08:56
Okay, so they think Mater is a spy. And he is stupid and sort of goes along with it because he thinks purple car is his girlfriend and not a spy gets confused. And so starts working for them accidentally, and they do spy stuff together. And because they're trying to uncover a plot, and then while they're doing that Mater screws up, gets yelled up correctly so by Lightning McQueen for making Lightning McQueen lose the race. And then Mater goes off to do spy stuff, which he doesn't even know that he's doing because he's really stupid. And Michael Caine doesn't understand that Mater isn't a spy. Yeah, and thinks that he's just doing a great job being an undercover idiot. Yeah. And which is great. Then they FOIL this plan have these lemon Junk Cars there's like a society of crappy cars. Yep. And
Tyler 10:09
they eat are nice Crime Syndicate is a mystery and they need Yeah, yeah. Or the leaders of mystery. Yeah,
Misha 10:17
I wouldn't go that far. Well, they do kind of make it seem as organized and I want yeah. Okay,
Tyler 10:23
fair point. Yeah.
Misha 10:24
Just seemed like a bunch of Yeah, they were just like, we're mad. Yeah, I'm like did one plot that would this is it, we're there. So they're angry because the World Grand Prix is being sponsored by a company called All in all that is a an alternative fuel to use like a biofuel instead of regular fossil fuels. And these junk cars are upset because they cannot use this new fuel they can only use regular gasolina and so they discover that if you shoot magnetic pulses at cars who have the alternative fuel in them they blow up so they start blowing up and killing all these cars at the race and then they're like that's it nobody's gonna want to use these alternative energies anymore because they blow up cars
Tyler 11:37
and things but damn good bad for that that creator and owner of all in all, but
Misha 11:43
then Lightning McQueen says well my team says because if you know for the first one he's all about his team now that he learned some lessons in the first one
Tyler 11:54
well the lesson they learned is like people like the Fast and the Furious movies so let's copy that and make this all about family yeah
Misha 12:02
yep, that yeah, so
Tyler 12:03
make these are people who make these car people all about spies being spies and superheroes as well. Yes, the same they
Misha 12:10
just sort of fast forwarded through like so. Oh, and then Tokyo Drift is the second one so we're so cars Tokyo Drift. Okay, so they're mad, but Oh, Lightning McQueen then says I'm still going to use this alternative fuel because my teammate said it safe. So I know it's safe. So then they're all these jalopies are really upset because they're like, Oh my God. Now we have to kill Lightning McQueen. Because we can't let him win the race. Because if he wins the race, using the alternative fuel, people, I mean, cars will be like, Woohoo, alternative fuels. And the and the old junk cars will get really upset. So they're murdering because it'll be upset because people make fun of them. And you know if you are made fun of the correct thing to do start murdering mass murdering like crazy. Okay, so all these junk cars are doing that. Then the two spies plus Mater have to stop them. They get caught. Then Mater escapes has to warn Lightning McQueen that he's gonna be murdered. Miscommunication up the wazoo. Yeah. Made her saves the day anyway. Gets knighted by the Queen. Everybody goes home.
Tyler 13:31
The Yeah. And he gets the girl in the end.
Misha 13:35
He doesn't really I think she's just trying to like be nice thing. So yeah, I think everybody's like, Girl new to your to and she's like, No, no, I'm his girlfriend just but she's like, okay, bye at the end. She's like, see you later. I'll come back and visit. Not with you. That's That's what that's I think she was just like, No, he wasn't making it up. But like they didn't smoke. She didn't stay. She was like, Okay, see you next time. You're not gonna come be spies with us. Oh, nevermind. Yeah. Bye. Have fun. He just wants to meet her just wants to be the third we'll have Sally and Lightning McQueen. That's his dream.
Tyler 14:14
That's true. Yeah.
Misha 14:16
I'm getting into car bed together. Yeah, he
Tyler 14:19
- He's, he's chomping at the bit for his his best friend. Also their best friendship is like so murky and doesn't make much sense. Like they tipped over a couple of tractors cows together, and then suddenly, they're best friends. Anyway, I have a lot of questions about some of the gaps in that summary but or synopsis but let's get into it. Let's get into it in the story part. But before we get into all of that, let me just remind you the category let me remind the listeners welcome again. The categories originality, story. Music and Sound protagonist animation. I'm not going in order or because I'm doing it off the dome psychic villain henchmen strong female lead bipoc representation slash portrayal. Fun Factor. Those are the categories and then we also have like doesn't sit right for some negative points if it's really like achy or effervescence bonus points for that extra special Disney magic giving it a total score of 110 points. So first step
Misha 15:26
Oh, I know what I missed from Okay, he figures out who the big bad bosses mate he being made her Yeah, because of the car parts though they have a picture or video or something of the inside the under the hood. Only on why of
Tyler 15:47
that's the only picture that that spy played by Bruce Campbell, the American the real American spy. That's the only picture you could like get before having to book it. And then he put that on Mater and then right.
Misha 15:59
And Mater knew those were junk car parts replacement parts that oh, you would only like mix and match if you're like an old junky car and need to be like fixed up. Yeah, you know, there
Tyler 16:12
were also like expensive custom parts. So he's like, it's an expensive, shitty British car. And yeah, like
Misha 16:18
so he was able to figure out it was the Land Rover
Tyler 16:23
Eddie Izzard.
Misha 16:27
Eddie Izzard, he was able to figure out that it was the head of the All in all alternative fuel company who were I don't really understand his motivation in order
Tyler 16:40
to yet like to destroy his own company. So then he has a monopoly on oil. But then just have the monopoly on oil don't create a alternative fuel company to tank it. That makes no yeah, that part made no sense. But
Misha 16:56
I mean, is it anyway, so he figures out that was him? So that is part of the plot, like knowing figuring out who the bad guy isn't stopping?
Tyler 17:03
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so originality. So
Misha 17:08
should we talk about originality and talking about originality? The least original movie of all time?
Tyler 17:16
It's pretty unoriginal. Not only is it a sequel, so any original qualities of the first cars are not here, obviously. And then on top of that, it rips off every tired spy trope you could possibly imagine.
Misha 17:30
So boring. It's yeah, with less stakes, because they're strangling characters.
Tyler 17:35
Yeah. Although there is a lot of dying in this movie, to the point where and a lot of Yeah,
Misha 17:41
I do want to talk about that. Yeah, it's really fucked up to the point where we either are not supposed to care, or we're supposed to care a lot. And I'm not sure why they would flip flop.
Tyler 17:54
Yeah, exactly. And I don't I can't remember if I mentioned this, it was in my notes, but I can't remember if I actually mentioned or not like in the original cars. Their races are Bloodsport, like, it's a gladiatorial arena. Because like they crash and they die. And yeah, maybe they get sick stuff. And I
Misha 18:10
asked like, do they feel pain? Yeah, because they react as if they do. Yeah, like, in this movie, the lady spy? I'm sorry, everybody, but I don't understand names. Apparently. LME Mortimer.
Tyler 18:28
Alamo motivo Emily Mortimer just to say, Holly, she's probably easier to remember AB and bone syndrome. Yeah, because those are scenes I could think if people haven't seen 30 rock that will make absolutely no sense though. Why should keep saying bone syndrome that's really me what if that lady's like ill
Misha 18:54
she was they say oh yeah, she electrocutes a car to torture the car. And he screams and then my car cane is like whoa whoa like why are you doing that? Like they're they get hurt they feel when the
Tyler 19:13
when the actual American spy played voiced by Bruce Campbell but I don't remember the actual like character's name
Misha 19:20
just called Bruce
Tyler 19:23
sorry because I want actually I wanted to look it up right his name is because the name was absolutely ridiculous rod. Torque redline. So torque the spy. His last name is red line. Red Line. Yeah, like you have to read line like you know who's lived your life quarter mile. So remember the part where he gets caught after he puts the thing on on Mater the he gets caught and he's tortured.
Misha 19:48
He says like bring him which is insane to watch.
Tyler 19:53
And he's like in pain and he's like, you can destroy my engine. I can get it fixed or whatever. It's like, what is it? Okay, sorry. We're about to deep dive back into like what this means.
Misha 20:04
But like before we get into that because I think that's part of the story. What can we just give this a big ol stinker for this?
Tyler 20:10
This is okay. I think originality is a one you want to get
Misha 20:15
that out of the way I have now all cars fashion questions so okay going what you were gonna say about Bruce torque rod stick.
Tyler 20:27
I mean it's just like basically what I'm getting at is like they feel pain. There's a lot of death like in the original opening scene on the oil derricks or oil rigs whatever those things over the sea are called. They're like, people get blown up. The the spy buddy of Finn McMissile Mike Carr Kane is one of those car car cubes like he's Dale. There's like everybody's kitted with machine guns and guns
Misha 20:54
to mass murder. They cause Paul Newman who played Dark Hudson in the original one. They talk about him being dead in this one.
Tyler 21:08
And that was because Paul Newman had passed away. Paul
Misha 21:12
Newman died between the movie so they were Yeah, so did
Tyler 21:17
George Carlin as well. Oh, who was the hippie? He was played the hippie Volkswagen.
Misha 21:22
They still had the hippie Volkswagen in this one. It was a different voice though. But why would they have killed off Doc Hudson then? Because
Tyler 21:31
they weren't going to I don't know they ultimately I read about it on Wikipedia they ultimately just scrapped it they were going to do some something about him going off and to the into the sunset, but they just scrapped
Misha 21:41
why why would they please Volkswagen then? That's what I mean.
Tyler 21:45
Because his he's stupidly a lynchpin in the plot because he switches the oil in Lightning McQueen and that's why lightning does because I
Misha 21:56
got that part because at the end at the very end
Tyler 22:03
it was it was one of those things okay, let me explain this and then I'll explain what I was I was the electromagnetic pulse that blows up the cars is hidden in a TV camera, and they hit it on McQueen but it doesn't work. And then they go to plan B which is the bomb that's in Mater but then at the end everyone despise major McQueen everyone's like, wait, but why didn't that thing blow you up and no one knows and I think also the people that wrote the movie don't know what I was like, oh, fuck, fuck fuck we got to come up with something Oh, the hippies switched it was real organic stuff. And that was the right not the all and so he strangely was like key to the plot so they had to kind of keep the right doofus in there.
Misha 22:48
But what at the end he was like well, it was really this guy who switched you to regular fuel the army
Tyler 22:56
yeah was the drill sergeant because he doesn't like the authorities like the he doesn't like the man or something like that. It's like fuck you Oh no Come on. So lazy like this The writing was so lazy but yeah anyway so much depth to the point where I was like if I if I were a parent which I'm going to be soon but like if I were a parent bring my kids to this
Misha 23:24
you heard it here for kid Watch
Tyler 23:26
Kid one kid watch I would be upset because this movie is rated G but there's like a lot of guns and violence and death like out of nowhere if you brought your kids to watch the first one and then you brought them to this one they're not right i mean i the rating system is garbage anyway but there's like a fuckload of violence in this movie it's absurd anyway, yeah,
Misha 23:50
they kill a lot of cars on the track like when they're aiming the electro magnetic pulse ray guns at them they all die
Tyler 24:02
yeah right yeah cuz it's not like it's not like they just break down and crash and then they can get like fixed up like Doc Hudson was it's like they make it seem like they Yeah Mark annum Yeah. Transformers style. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, Crazy Crazy. Crazy Crazy.
24:25
So story.
Tyler 24:29
What do we what do we think about this again? Like we can't we I mean, you you had a question, but we can't go too far deep into like, this world is because we spent
Misha 24:37
so much I do have a couple short questions. Yeah, why are there ice cream shops and sushi restaurants for cars and what and their real food it's not. They weren't like in the first one. Everything like the cafe you could get gas at this. You could get lube and Oil at this you could get car parts when you normally get like human things. But in this one, there was ice cream shops and sushi restaurants and they were eating them and made or tasted spicy wasabi and drank water because his tongue his tongue tasted heat and spice.
Tyler 25:24
Yeah. His tongue coming out of his engine tasted the heat. And the spice. Yeah. The and he thought it was pistachio ice cream. It's just it's just, it's bonkers. It's absolutely fucking bonkers this world. Why would they include those? That because it's like the people that made these movies. I'm gonna put most of the blame on Lasseter, like, oh, no, they're like, this will be funny. Like, this will be fun. on a lark. They added this thing that is like, deeply upsetting when you actually think about it. It's like,
Misha 25:55
like, what sushi made of? In in cars.
Tyler 25:59
Car sushi.
Misha 26:00
Yeah,
Tyler 26:02
I mean, fructify No, like,
Misha 26:06
I don't know. And why do they? What happens to it when it goes inside of them? When they eat?
Tyler 26:12
I don't know what I mean. Major Chompin on like, a big dollop of wasabi would wreck him wreck his engine. I mean, I would imagine and the guy's not really well put together anymore. Anyways, a fucking rust bucket. But, I mean, this is kind of the thing. It's kind of like when I first learned what the transporters and Star Trek Next Generation really did, like the science behind it. I was deeply upset. Like I mean, that's a show I care. That's a show I like
Misha 26:42
actually, like explain it, you know, like you can get behind it. You can get behind rec replicators because they explain how like, Okay, why aren't we there in real life because they explain how to do all of this on that show problem
Tyler 26:55
is because that show is bless Star Trek's heart but Star Trek is based on the premise that like all humans decided it'd be better to like come together and be and be friends and work together which is like a pipe dream. So never gonna happen as opposed to the economy which also will you know, amazing.
Misha 27:11
I love Tange. I
Tyler 27:13
love Star Trek, but like the
Misha 27:14
Star Trek, I love Star Trek. Yeah,
Tyler 27:17
the future like nasty feudalism of Dune is probably a more realistic future for us. Okay, so this movie. The story is, the story is
Misha 27:28
also there are. Okay, one more world building question. Okay. There are planes who are supposed to be of like human intelligence, right? Yeah, carrying them around. But then there are planes that are pigeons. Yeah. This is like how Goofy walks Pluto on a leash? Yeah,
Tyler 27:56
exactly. And also, it's like, there are airplanes that are of human intelligence carrying planes or carrying cars inside them also, human intelligence.
Misha 28:05
Yes. That's like me. That's more like a piggyback ride. I think that's okay.
Tyler 28:11
rationalize, slurp you inside of me and carry you across.
Misha 28:15
Because they're carrying stuff anyway. That's like the normal anatomy of a personally have things.
Tyler 28:20
But if you really, it's like a human stretched out and became the total cat like, no.
Misha 28:28
No, because planes are already that way. It's like a different species, but have the same. But Kingdom log, right? Yeah. So let's say we break this down this way, right? You've got like, animal, plant bacteria. All the other eukaryotic knowing whatever, then then vehicles. No, not just vehicles, automobiles, but you just said I guess vehicle you'd write as another kingdom. So then under that King that listen. So under that you've got like the hierarchy of vehicle life. So you're going to have some weird branching, like planes. And cars are not that closely related, but they're in the same kingdom. And then you've got pigeon planes, which are, are closely related to big planes that are sentient, but different places on that in that line. So like, we're like, you know, like, we're mammals. We have different characteristics than dolphins. Yeah. Okay. Maybe that's a bad example. Because like swimming in like ocean, alright, but like, you know, you got you've got an African grey parrot, which is one of the smartest animals of all time, and then you've got a pigeon. Yeah. Right. So maybe we can just rationalize it that way. Oh,
Tyler 29:59
Okay, yeah, I can't I can't let my brain go there.
Misha 30:04
All right, let's talk. Let's just get through. Let's get through this. Also,
Tyler 30:08
I love how like, yeah, so. Okay, so also speaking to the wasabi part when when Mater drinks the water. That's like the grossest thing ever.
Misha 30:20
so awful. Oh, can we talk about the a lot of the scenes in Tokyo? Yeah. And like the fucked up racist.
Tyler 30:35
Yeah. That's another thing actually, we can just get into it with story, I guess. Is this movie is just like one cliche after one cliche after another cliche. And then on top of that one stereotype after another stereotype after another stereotype. This is what Japan's like, Oh, this is what Italy's like, with no nuance whatsoever. And it's like, if you want your kids to and then like the last song, fuck it. We'll get into that later. But the end is a montage of like, oh, we should like kind of like, think the world is interesting and like care about people in other parts of the world. But the movie doesn't make you think that the movie makes you think the rest of the world is a joke. And that major should not apologize for being an annoying fucking insensitive American wherever he goes. But anyway, we'll get to that later. I guess. Well, we'll get to an hour. It's a fucking story. It's the message of the story is made or made or be yourself like be your fucking self. But he himself is making fun of the Beefeater guards outside the Queen's palace. Yeah, saying hey, you drive on the wrong side of the road. Like all this fucking fucking American bullshit. Yes, everyone out there. You can be yourself but that doesn't mean you can be culturally insensitive prick. So anyway. Right. Well, we're gonna read sorry,
Misha 31:51
can we get well we can do this now, since we mentioned the end credits song or you can wait till we get to the music and sound card. I love
Tyler 31:59
how it's you know, you and me, are like on the same wavelength. I was gonna read those motherfucking lyrics too. Okay, let's get Wait. Let's wait till the music part. Let's let's give story. Let's give story a score on one. It's a one it's a fucking
Misha 32:15
one. It's a one it's it's fucking doesn't make sense. It's terrible. It's plot is
Tyler 32:21
like overly convoluted. It's paper thin. It's a house of cards, whatever cliche you want to use to, to explain this cliche of a movie. It the end is wrapped up in a bow that doesn't quite make sense. And the characters don't really make sense of it. It's a little. I mean, this got lambasted by the critics. This was like, more disappointing than the first cars and yet they still make another one. What and then plains movies, but. But this one blank, we said this movie is like, if you just turn your brain off, it's more enjoyable than the first one because it doesn't have any like, wanna be Pixar? Like deep message to it. It's just like, it's just a dumb movie. So it's like, maybe more enjoyable for people, right? I don't know, but it's still a fucking one. It's, I would say negative one, but we can't. So anyway, let's come back to animation and jump to music. What do you think? Okay. Yeah,
Misha 33:17
let's talk about that song. Okay, so I actually think there were only two songs that weren't part of just the score. The background music. There were two songs. The first one well, a
Tyler 33:30
couple. But yeah, there was like the there was a French one. And then there was the two. There was a Japanese one two, I think but But yeah, there was like the two big American English language American language, right? And Muay Thai, like Jesus
Misha 33:44
says, What Tyler's teaching his students in Turkey. Yeah, they
Tyler 33:49
can. But in
Misha 33:50
America, we speak American.
Tyler 33:54
Boy, yeah, but there are two. There's one that's a car song sung by Weezer. And then the other one is, which I think is the one you're gonna read. Yeah, yes. Robbie Williams, who's from some boy, he's like a famous English singer. He was from a boy band from like, the 90s in a British boy band. And then he's started on his own. The first time I heard of him was he was already in a solo career. This and Brad Paisley Paisley who's like a country music star.
Misha 34:23
I'm pretty sure Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm going to read some of these. Okay, they're there's parts I don't know what they're called. But there's parts during the song where they just start reading random words. And it's not singing Yeah, so I'm gonna read this parts. Abbey Road route 66 CIA to the Mi six. Yeah, right lane, left lane metric Imperial pounds dollars. Howdy Cheerio. a va growl to a v 12. Scream Hail to the Chief God Save The Quade cups Bobby's Tabasco wasabi pistachio ice cream. Yeah. One that paragraph What do you call it in music?
Tyler 35:13
verse, verse
Misha 35:14
one verse Okay, here's another one. That's what I was silly. Meat and Potatoes beggars and mash dollars pounds dosh cash Autobahn to the rising sun the I tend to the M one Congress Parliament President the Queen, petrol you say gasoline, no grab your bird and get your girl now it's a small world. Yeah, yeah, this is the high quality shit that they're shoving down children's throats
Tyler 35:50
and then let's go back to like, like what I said before like Yeah, another line from this is like, and we can't pretend to live on different planets. You and me in this collision of worlds watch the new day dawn on the distant shore in this collision of worlds. You can't sit this out no more. No more. So it's like a togetherness. This is like this is like fucking this this is Pixar Cars attempt at like we are the world. Or like ain't gonna play Sun City from the 80s. I mean, like, fuck, fucking it's so bad.
Misha 36:28
Chill. I really hope no child has to watch this movie.
Tyler 36:33
I mean, and the thing is, here's the thing, you can't just stop it because you're expecting an end credit scene because you're like, Ah,
Misha 36:41
I made the biggest mistake where I was like, I'm gonna turn it off and walk away. I can't keep listening to this. I did and then I was like, fuck, if there's an end credit scene, I'm gonna have to talk about it on the podcast. And then I watched to the very end for no reason
Tyler 36:55
at the same except I didn't walk away. I was just like, I just started like, sort of fast forwarding in the song but I finished
Misha 37:01
watching it in the bathroom. Because I was like
Tyler 37:06
this is a piece of shit. I'm going to take a shit oh here's the thing about the music though. Like the songs like the Weezer cars cover also, I think sucked but it in the vein of like what you said about the the covers in the last one. It served its purpose. And it wasn't.
Misha 37:27
I actually thought like the score was okay. Okay, that last song. Yeah, needs it loses a couple points that
Tyler 37:38
I actually thought that like the score was better in this one than it was in the first one. Marginally, but I thought it was a bit better. Maybe it's just because like, I don't know, spy movies or you know, just always a little bit more like tense and
Misha 37:51
you know, and song. I mean, it drops it down. Oh, yeah.
Tyler 37:54
I would wholeheartedly agree. Like this might have been like, this might have been a six. It's gonna get like, I would say four. Maybe? What do you Yes, yeah, yeah,
Misha 38:04
yeah. Yeah, it's offensive.
Tyler 38:06
It's pretty. It's pretty bad. Yeah. Okay, animation. I've got a couple. I thoughts, but do you want to
Misha 38:17
know, just do as it was not a good.
Tyler 38:22
I was gonna say it's like, it's the same as cars. But I think because of that it should drop down a point. Because it wasn't adding any really new. I mean, it was beautiful. So like, beautiful, but it's like, too busy and too crazy. Well,
Misha 38:38
I was kind of disappointed, right? I was actually kind of disappointed with it. Because they what was it the American West? Yep. Like, they did a really beautiful job. And then you're like, Okay, I'm traveling all over the world. You're expecting that and they flopped. They were like, Tokyo, like, Japan looked like shit. They didn't put in the same kind of detail in the scenery of this one that they did. I thought Italy looked okay, Italy looks pretty
Tyler 39:09
I thought but it's just it's weird, because it's like, a little belt little bell towers that no car could get into and stuff like that. But right.
Misha 39:15
I also thought about what are all these buildings for these little houses. But anyway, I thought
Tyler 39:21
Japan looked okay, it's just it's just like, it was just like a massive stereotype
Misha 39:25
was kind of, right. But also they didn't put the same level of detail in the world that the places they were going to that they did in the first one so I actually thought it was worse that that the animation was poorly executed just they didn't seem to give a shit. Right. Like they didn't give extra touches to things that they really cared about in the first one. I
Tyler 39:46
think that's a problem. Yeah, like it made me not care about looking at the scenery where in the first one I like, wanted a lot of that. Yeah, and this one is just like, that was one of my favorite part. Yeah, yeah. Same here and it's like and this one is Just everything is so maybe it's because of just like the first one was quite fast paced but then it slowed down and Radiator Springs so we could like appreciate the the beauty of the their animation. This one it's just balls to the wall constantly. So I don't know I thought like London I thought London looked pretty good.
Misha 40:17
I thought it was okay.
Tyler 40:19
I thought parts looked. I thought it parts looked good. My favorite part of the animation was actually the very beginning the water was beautiful. I thought the animation of this rough seas. I was gorgeous. They gorgeous. Why did I say like that
Misha 40:40
was gorgeous.
Tyler 40:42
It was beautiful, though. But it's like, it's like, yeah, a minute of the movie. And that's it just when Finn Finn McMissile is getting dragged in by a boat to the oil rigs, or whatever they're called. Yeah,
Misha 40:54
it just seemed some of the scenery seemed kind of simplistic. That's what I'm trying to say. They didn't do as much detailed work. And so just okay,
Tyler 41:04
I could give you
Misha 41:05
I just drop it down a point. I thought they did a good job. It was good CGI. Yeah,
Tyler 41:09
yeah, it's solid, solid stuff. All right. And it's like the one thing going for it. Oh, boy, protagonist. Okay, so I mentioned a little bit already, but this the major is
Misha 41:26
absolutely he's the protagonist for everybody. And
Tyler 41:30
he's the protagonist this time because Lightning McQueen was last time yeah, thanks for clarifying. And McQueen is relegated to the side and he's not even really the size in this one the two British buys with the sidekick for Mater. But Major is like I said this last time and I'll say it again like it's really kind of I don't know, like I didn't maybe I as a kid I didn't really notice or really care I guess because kids are a little bit more insensitive but like a really bothers me how like Larry the Cable Guy is doing this like dumb southern person stick. It's like yeah, he's a fucking offensive. I said it before. I'll say it again. They like It's like Mater we're supposed to we're supposed to sympathize with Mater Mater is likable, like the voice they're putting this voice on and unlikable idiot. And it's like, the voice is supposed to signal to us that he's an idiot. What
Misha 42:20
they should do is make him actually what they should make him actually smart with a stupid like, what people would say is a stupid sounding voice and see, like, look this. The whole point is that if you have this accent, you're not stupid. But guess what? He's very stupid. He's a fucking idiot. And so they're just reinforcing that stereotype. So yeah.
Tyler 42:42
And like if they had like we met if we met as much yeah, if we met his parents, and they had that same accent, but they were both like professors at University of Texas El Paso or something teaching engineering? I don't know. Like, like, put something would there be a University of Texas El Paso in this universe? Well, there must be because there's a fucking Pope in a pope a pope. mobiel in a pope mobiel. So, so
Misha 43:04
Oh, right. So and he said is the is the Popemobile Catholic Yeah, so
Tyler 43:10
there's Catholicism and then we see the pope there is a car in a pope car. Like a fucking Russian bullet
Misha 43:19
proof
Tyler 43:19
the pope yeah the the bullet proof
Misha 43:22
box that the Pope Carson. So there's religion.
Tyler 43:26
There's religion. There are mothers and sisters and women. They use that word not like yep female car or Lady Park car. Well grab your girl grabbed your girl do and then so how does the how does the sex happen? How does it procreation happen with cars? How does that work? Actually, we can't get into this that's horrifying. To answer but but someday in the future I'm gonna I'm going to when my kids are being naughty, I'm gonna show them this goddamn movie. But then I'm gonna have to then I've got to answer that question like dad had a car we were
Misha 44:01
ours. Did they put car wieners or their or their car vagina if
Tyler 44:06
it is it's the it's the exhaust pipe right but the exhaust pipe is also the
Misha 44:10
machine that's the but no, we can all agree the exhaust pipe is the butt Hi,
Tyler 44:17
but also just look up hyenas and how they give birth and like oh god, you can like things can be mixed. Let's just say.
Misha 44:26
Hyenas. Oh, you know what? It's a clue. weeka oats. Okay. So for those of you who don't know what a cloaca is birds and certain sea mammals, dragons, bats. What dragons have dragons would have Quakers. Dragonborn cloaca is just the one hole that birds bats other like sea mammals stiffly. A bunch of donors have a cool acre and it's where everything happens. You poop Yeah. But you're you don't pee separately it's all one plop that's why birds have like liquidy poops. And okay yeah that's also the same hole where they get done up where
Tyler 45:10
they get the fun stuff. Yeah, that that
Misha 45:13
fun stuff fun stuff. Fun
Tyler 45:17
stuff fun stuff
Misha 45:22
okay, so now we okay we just
Tyler 45:24
blew the lid off.
Misha 45:24
Yeah, Clark cars. Cool wake us. Boom Yeah, we figured it out now but what so with Chloe cuz animals have penises that they put in the Cloaca so
Tyler 45:40
a periscope goes in the dirt button
Misha 45:42
pair Periscope maybe that's what their tongues are. Oh, well yeah
Tyler 45:50
I mean, I don't want to bang anyone's buzz here. Yeah, can anyone's young but in the cars universe, that was a horrifying thing that this gets stuck.
Misha 45:58
Then, so ladies, sorry girls and women because then boys? No. Oh, God, no. Okay. They both can just put their tongues up there but they're Quakers exhaust pipe. Yeah, okay.
Tyler 46:16
Or is it the Okay, okay, so here's another question is the actual math is that mouth a false mouth and the actual mouth is no because they can taste because the but then what's the fuel tank? Is that like a there? What are those things? What are those things like when you're in the hospital and you have to
Misha 46:35
report straight feeding tube like straight to your
Tyler 46:41
Okay, since we're still on Mater so I mentioned this before, but I just want to like I just want to mention it again. So McQueen, McQueen gets mad at him because Mater's like embarrassing him and being like a loud obnoxious American. And then like at the end Lightning McQueen's like you no mater you can just be yourself and like, who cares if other people think something about you just be yourself and let your your your flag fly? Fly? And then jump cut to Mater making dumb faces at the Beefeater guard. Yeah. Which is like what every dumb fucking American in London does is like, and it's like, come on, like, if yes, just Mater is so annoying one you get to watch. Okay, good, because that's as low as we can go. Yep. All right. Sidekick. However, I don't think it should be one because they're, they're competent. competent, like strong. Car lady and competent. Finn McMissile. Played by my car cane. And he's always a joy even though he should he does not he really needs to.
Misha 47:45
He did. He doesn't
Tyler 47:47
phone it in. He did. He really needs to like, yeah, you're right.
Misha 47:51
I was surprised. There were some scenes where I thought this is such a stupid line. But he delivered he
Tyler 47:57
delivered it because he he does not turn down jobs. Like he does every movie that's put in front of him. I think I love them. But like, yeah, I love him. It's just like,
Misha 48:09
I think he I'm gonna go watch a Muppet Christmas. Oh
Tyler 48:12
my god. Yeah, he's so great. Forget that. He
Misha 48:14
was in this piece of shit. Yeah.
Tyler 48:17
Like, like John Travolta and bolt doesn't phone it in gives it his all. I think those two characters are fine. Like, it was boring because of the story. But like the characters were like, interesting. I guess that's just like, unclear. Do all they're just five. Wow. Okay.
Misha 48:37
You think that's too high?
Tyler 48:39
I think it's too high. But I could be persuaded to Okay. I'm gonna be persuaded. Five years they're fine. Yeah, that's they're not below Fine. i Okay. I'll give you that. It's just the story we got. I have to separate the story from them. Yeah. All right. I mean, five is okay.
Misha 49:01
All right. Is that too generous? No. There Jimmy kind of there. And Mike. Okay. Okay. If it wasn't my car cane, I would have given it a lower score, but he is fine. They shouldn't movie about him and nothing to do. He should have been the protagonist or avian bone syndrome.
Tyler 49:20
Alamo Morimoto. Yeah, Emily Mortimore. Amadon del Dingo.
Misha 49:27
I'm sorry. Okay, here's the thing. I understand numbers because you can logic your way through numbers. I understand words because words have meaning when you put them together, it makes logical sense. Names are just made up jumbling nonsense. So I have a really hard time when you just put a bunch of letters together and expect me to remember what they are. It doesn't matter it's arbitrary.
Tyler 49:58
Names are just screams that have then turned into shapes that's all there
Misha 50:03
okay I don't know what that means but
Tyler 50:08
it's a it's a reference of like zero people's going to Oregon again so we'll move on to villain
Misha 50:15
is the villain I think monocle one or the Land Rover oil alternative fuel car.
Tyler 50:23
The true villain is axle rod Eddie's or it's like Land Rover. Range Rover character. Yeah, but the little Yeah, the little Toby Jones or motherfucker is the henchmen Yeah, exactly like Toby Jones 80% of the NPCs in my d&d worlds look like Toby Jones. Yeah.
Misha 50:46
Yeah. How many?
Tyler 50:49
Toby the reason I say, or Robbie Coltrane or Oliver Platt,
Misha 50:55
David Bowie comes up. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay,
Tyler 51:00
the reason I say the reason I said Toby Jones is because he played the he played the German scientists bad guy in like the Marvel movies. That's why I like one of the hydro dudes. That's why I thought of him. Oh, small squad. Glasses. Yeah. But villain. Okay, so the villains plan is dumb. And doesn't make sense. And also isn't in it for like, yeah, he's in it, but he's not in it. Because we think he's like, I mean, we think he's just like some Elon Musk dude, who's probably also
Misha 51:33
no one's he is a villain.
Tyler 51:37
He's the closest I mean, like, this is not an original tech. He's like, the closest thing to a Bond villain that I think I've ever seen in my life. So. So okay, he deserves to or do you think he's like,
Misha 51:49
I was gonna say in cars one. There's no villain. So we gave it a one. Yeah, in this one. He's a villain. And he's sneaky about it. So I kind of like that.
Tyler 52:00
Yeah. I do too. I like the like the I do like the sort of Spectre s like who is the man behind the weird garbled voice under the hood? Like those kinds of bad guys? Yeah. Under Ooh, yeah. Behind the kimono. Yeah.
Misha 52:18
Under the Carmona two, three
Tyler 52:20
carbono.
Misha 52:24
Yeah, I think two or three two. Okay. Oh, oh, three and we're changing it. I think trees I think three three is fair. Yeah. Okay. henchmen. Because
Tyler 52:38
it's bad, but you know, not horrible.
Misha 52:43
Either bit, and they're like, they carry our most Yeah.
Tyler 52:47
And they are like everywhere hydro style like all these jalopies like, like in the crowd watching and like, behind them, vit TV cameras.
Misha 52:58
You know what they should have done? They should have done more, you know, in movies, when you start to realize that these people belonging to this group are everywhere and infiltrated everything, like you go to a shop and the person's there and they're spies. They should have done more of that. Yeah, that would have been cool. Like, like realizing Yeah,
Tyler 53:21
yeah, yeah, they do. They do in that one scene where they're like scanning when she's like
Misha 53:26
they're everywhere, but not like it's not a slow reveal where you think you're in a safe place and then you find out that they're a spy for the bad organization and or part of it.
Tyler 53:37
I mean, it would have been another it would have been like another cliched I know, but layer cake of cliches but But it says movie was in effect
Misha 53:44
an hour and 46 minutes for no reason. I'm glad it was shorter than the first one. But that's still too long for a kid's movie. 9010 minutes shorter, 90 minute cut off. Unless it's really good. If the water was 10 hours long. I'd still love sure of course.
Tyler 54:02
Yeah, that that does have a limit to it, though when like, Oh, they're they've been there all along. They like there's the I don't super like it when it gets to the point where like the villain has like improbably planned for everything. Like I'm not a huge fan of like, yeah, like the villain and Skyfall like the game. Oh, or did the game Michael Michael Douglas. That Michael Douglas movie I haven't seen in so long. I remember not like I've read. I've read some sense. I've read some revisionist views that say that it's like a possibly one of Fisher's better movies, but I don't know. I mean, I haven't seen it in forever. I remember not like yeah, it's
Misha 54:40
such bullshit. I get so mad about it anyway. So to henchmen.
Tyler 54:46
I think they they're just like, I mean, they're they're not. I mean, they do their job. Their henchmen They're everywhere. They're, they're, they're they're on par with the with Axel, right? I think I think
Misha 55:01
they're slightly better. Oh, okay. I was gonna say they're slightly worse than my car cane and my Emily Mortimer and slightly better than the villain so I would give them a four. Yeah, I I am
Tyler 55:20
in a generous mood so yeah, sure why not? Well, this movie is gonna it's gonna get higher than I thought I was
Misha 55:25
gonna be doing stuff that Yeah, yeah, it's I think it's I think that we've been brainwashed
Tyler 55:33
by the end of the segment uh yeah like this is a good movie. Yeah. Wow. This is gonna be remember we watched brother bird you started out by saying I liked this movie by the end of the episode. You're like I twisted you I turned you because I was going insane All right. Okay, strong female lead
Misha 55:52
this this strong female he just gets a one
Tyler 55:55
find one fine I just I just I guess. I guess I'm trying to
Misha 56:00
more Emily Mortimer. Yeah, she's not the lead.
Tyler 56:05
I guess I'm just trying to find pick you're right she's gonna leave she's aside we had this conversation like 40 times yes.
Misha 56:13
I don't like the same thing saying they done fucked up because they put everyone in charge all of the villains all of the baddies who are leading everything male. All of the lead Carson is male. Yeah. She's she's there. She's but she's the rookie. And sure. Like there's parts where he's like, Oh, I'm learning from you. Oh, you're doing it but
Tyler 56:35
also actually should have swatches to test to jump on that and agree with you. He's not learning from her. He is completely confused and thinks they're on a date and is like totally looking.
Misha 56:46
I don't mean naters learning from her. I mean, Miko canes, Mike arcanes learning from her because he's like, You don't know anything low. And she's like, Oh my God, but then she does something. And he's like, Oh, that's pretty cool. Anyway, yeah. Helen Mirren could have been the lead if they wanted, like a really good, you know, like, British classic actor to play the main car spy, then you would have really had this overlap in cars universe and the Fast and the Furious universe. Yeah, yeah. Anyway.
Tyler 57:26
Okay, one bipoc representation slash portrayal. This is worse than the last one. This was more offensive than the last one. Yeah. More offensive,
Misha 57:34
less characters. The same few from fuck. Jesus Christ. I hate when you do that.
Tyler 57:45
We can cut it out.
Misha 57:47
That we're gonna leave it. I want people to know what I have to deal with. Huh?
Tyler 57:52
Yeah, it's first and last one. I think it's a one. Yeah, fun factor. I think it's a one. It's not fun. It's marginally marginally, like point. 1% More fun than the last one. But that's not enough. Yeah. Yeah. doesn't sit right.
Misha 58:13
It doesn't sit right when they know it doesn't sit right. I'm sorry. Some of those scenes were so fucking offensive.
Tyler 58:20
Yeah. But is it Yeah. So last time, we gave it minus three for the world being upsetting. Right. So I think it needs to get that level because it's the same world still doesn't sit right that much. And then a little bit more because of the the stereotypes and racism
Misha 58:36
and the stereotype. Yeah, yeah. All right. The celebration
Tyler 58:40
of like a dumb American abroad is also I'm not a fan of that. And it's my luxury. Why
Misha 58:48
are you cool with a negative? Negative for Yeah,
Tyler 58:50
that's fine with me. Oh, all right. Professor.
Misha 58:55
Oh, I should get all the bonus points what ah, we've I can't believe Okay, I can't believe we
Tyler 59:05
do and it's supposedly it goes back to basics and tries to make it more focused on lightning UI. But guess what, folks? The basics are horribles like and then later on maybe in like a year and a half or so that we got to watch two planes movies in the same universe. So the second one actually the second one might be direct to DVD or whatever but but we'll look yeah. Okay.
Misha 59:33
All right. So this movie How do you think it compares with us? Is that looking better or worse than worse?
Misha 59:48
Okay, cars one gotta 25 cars to manage to squeak out.
Tyler 59:56
This is going to go down. I don't even know if you're go down in history as the worst thing we've ever done the biggest This is it Yeah,
Misha 1:00:05
I think we're wrong
Tyler 1:00:06
well you can change it now but this is like later on when they make like a view when they made a documentary about like, how how far
Misha 1:00:14
sidekick you know I decide kick and henchmen and villain they had those in this movie and they did not have that in just it's it's wait side kicks got a one
Tyler 1:00:28
and the first because it's we hate Mater and the we hated the whole he just hated
Misha 1:00:36
- Yeah so really it's all the non original cars that pulled this movie, right? It's like if the first cars didn't exist and none of those characters existed and they just made a spy movie. Without Mater maybe it would have been okay
Tyler 1:00:58
maybe I can't believe this like there's gonna be like sometime in the future there's going to be a documentary about like how like, like those VHS one one's about like behind the music with like how far Milli Vanilli fell? And it's going to end this is the moment this is the crucible moment where we wait that's a test that we were supposed to pass and we did not pass the test and everything's downhill from here
Misha 1:01:25
to did better than cars would you know?
Tyler 1:01:29
Oh my god.
Misha 1:01:30
I I'm shocked. I was hoping for a tie
Tyler 1:01:34
that would have at least kept us in like the category of valid podcast now we're just fucking beans and buts like this is like nothing I
Misha 1:01:41
listen, I gave I gave sidekick. I will take full responsibility because I gave side kicks a high score because I love Michael Caine and I will still love my car cane. Sorry, he's great.
Tyler 1:02:01
He is charming, even as a car he's charming, right? Yeah.
Misha 1:02:03
Should we bring that if we bring it down to it? We are already too late. We don't need some we still wake up hello. Wake
Tyler 1:02:12
up poopy jism on the ground and it's on our feet and we got to walk until it's off our feet. Which is I don't know whenever whenever we get to cocoa maybe. Oh, I'm wearing treads
Misha 1:02:22
and so it's like up in their
Tyler 1:02:27
bellies. And
Misha 1:02:29
it's actually not that smelly. Let me tell you when I worked at a zoo. Which zoo shouldn't exist, so apologies all round. Let me tell you it's much better to work with birds. I worked in the ornithology department because you can just hose off their poo where folks in the mammal department had to lug that shit out in bags. Heavy and shovel it not me interested there with the hose. stung. Oh
Tyler 1:02:58
boy. Okay. Well, folks, thanks. Thanks so much for sticking with us through this Stygian darkness of a podcast. Next up is cars three and the insanity and thank you thank you thank you a million times for listening and supporting us. And if you want to send us an email, it's [email protected]
Misha 1:03:23
or hit us up on Twitter and Instagram @muchabupod and leave
Tyler 1:03:27
us a review on your favorite podcast medium like give us the field Hey, this is insane but I like it type review or whatever you want to say.
Misha 1:03:36
And give us five stars. If you don't like us. You can stick it in your
Tyler 1:03:46
car tag in your car tailpipe and oh yeah and rev rev up. Tell
Misha 1:03:51
your friends. Tell your family members, tell your enemies. Tell us more more about this, you know,
Tyler 1:03:58
tell Olmo Emily James almost.
Misha 1:04:03
Alright. See you next week with will CARS 3.
Tyler 1:04:09
Bye, everybody.